"Get a few people to tell you that you can't do it." -Ryan's First #30dayclean Post

Clean eating (n.) – the process a person (usually mentally unstable) goes through which deprives their body of any and all things that taste good in order to be healthier by consuming food fit for rabbits and small rodents.

My self portrait as of last Sunday.

So last Sunday, Augusta says “ I’m going to start a clean eating challenge for a month!” I read it and think “What the hell does that mean? Does she shower with her food before she eats it?” So I look it up and start researching and it is actually an eating lifestyle (for lack of a better phrase) that is not that hard to follow. For normal eaters. Which does not include me. I’m not saying I’ve been known to eat a block of cheese for dinner and call it good, but I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO EAT A BLOCK OF CHEESE FOR DINNER AND CALL IT GOOD.  So taking this challenge has been a bit harder for me, but it is probably worth it because now I will live past the age of 31.

When I first told people I was going to do this, there were a variety of reactions.

Roommate 1 – You’re never going to do that.

Roommate 2 – Good for you! (which means “you’re never going to do that.”)

All of my friends – Ooooohhhhh!!!! (He’s never going to do that.)

My mother – YOU’RE GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS WHAT ABOUT WHEN WE GO ON VACATION CAN YOU STILL EAT BEEF AND OREOS AND RANCH DRESSING etc.

And my personal favorite…

My boyfriend – Ohhh awesome! I’ll do it with you! (At this point I am thinking wow finally, a supportive soul. Then he continues.) As long as I can still have Taco Bell and Cheezits. Oh and coffee. Also alcohol. And crème brûlée should it pop up. Also if you turn vegan we are going to have to think things over.

So after weighing everyone’s opinion and realizing that my digestive preferences are apparently a subject of national security, I decide to do this.


WORST IDEA. I HAVE EVER. HAD. IN MY LIFE.


Let me put this into perspective for you. I am a person who works 60+ hours a week on top of going to school full time. I barely have time to stand in line to ORDER dinner, let alone make it myself. In addition to that, I LOVE TO EAT UNHEALTHY FOODS. Cheese, steak, burritos, sour cream, cheese, cookies, sugar, cheese, pasta, white bread, cheese.

My senior picture.

That being said, after I cried for a few days and decided not to give up alcohol, clean eating is NOT that hard. I feel noticeably better physically. It is not as time consuming as I thought, and you can actually make some great meals that aren’t just made from lettuce and despair. One of my favorites is a stir-fry of sorts. The recipe is as follows (everything all natural and organic, of course) –

Ryan's Favorite Stir Fry

• Broccoli
• Carrots
• Edamame
• Chicken breast
• Pecans
• Parmesan cheese
• Olive oil & balsamic vinegar

Now mix that shit in a pan, turn on the heat, stir vigorously until you’re tired (so around 27 seconds,) and VOILA. YOU HAVE YOURSELF A CLEAN MEAL.


Alright, now that I have given you both a recipe and humorous banter, it’s time for me to go to class. 

However, if you decide you want to try clean eating, I have some tips for you.

1. DO NOT give up alcohol or coffee. I gave up alcohol for the first 3 days and it was so miserable. I don’t know how Lindsey Lohan is going to do it when she goes to rehab, but girl, my thoughts are with you.
2. Look up clean eating grocery lists online! You’d be surprised at how much you can actually have that is considered “clean.”
3. Get a few people to tell you that you can’t do it. This always helps me do something because I’m stubborn and always have to be right, so if I have the opportunity to prove someone wrong, I am gonna hop on that ASAP.

That’s all I have for right now. I haven’t broken it yet, which is astonishing. More later. If I survive.
-Ryan

#30daycleaneatingchallenge #well #sortof

Big news: RYAN MCGONAGILL OF BOSTON MASSACHUSETTS HAS DECIDED TO TAKE ON THIS CHALLENGE WITH ME. 

Therefore, he will be popping in and doing some guest blogs, and watch out, he's funnier than even me--I KNOW, HARD TO BELIEVE, SOMEONE FUNNIER THAN ME, I KNOW, BUT YES, HE IS, BELIEVE IT SISTER.

US BEFORE WE STARTED THE CLEAN EATING CHALLENGE

4-14

US ONE WEEK AFTER STARTING THE CHALLENGE 

4-21

SO YEAH WE'RE LIKE FEELING SRSLY CLEAN N HEALTHY N SH✽T

When I say I'm taking on a "clean eating challenge" what this really entails is eating all natural like 87.982% of the time. Ryan and I both decided beer and coffee are both pure and natural and all that is holy and thus allowed on the plan. In addition to those exceptions, I'm not opposed to letting myself eat something normal the other small percentage of the time. Por ejemplo, I went to the movies last night with my gUrL FrIeNdZz and had peanut M&Ms and popcorn.

Despite the small allowancez and exceptionz, my whole way of cooking has changed. Being that, I'm actually, you know, like cooking.

• Tilapia 
• Brown rice
• Quinoa 
• Chicken breasts
• Whole wheat pasta
• Asparagus
• Sweet potato french fries
• Kale chips
• Hard boiled eggs
• TONS OF FRUIT LITERALLY UNCANNY AMOUNTS
• Almonds
• Omeletes
• Salad $tuff
• Sauteed squash (OLIVE OIL IS MY BEST FRIEND.)
• Greek yogurt (DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY LIKE GREEK YOGURT??? SERIOUS QUESTION????????)
• Cottage cheese. 
• I feel the need to make cottage cheese its own bullet because I eat it that much. With that said...
• Coffee.
• Coffee.
• Coffee.

#Obsessed

I've also grown fond of these suckers I found at Market Street. ☝

CLASSY BIRTHDAY FLOWERS & FRUIT IN MASON JAR SHOT

Kale chips and sweet potato #HOUSEWIFE

SO I LITERALLY MADE THIS ATE THIS AND INSTAGRAMMED THIS. Strawberry spinach salad with chia seeds and sunflower seeds #soooooooo #gooooooooood

#TILAPIASWAG

Pardon my extremely advanced production equipment. This particular image was captured by my EXTREMELY ADVANCED IPHONE TECHNOLOGY. I BETTER COPY RIGHT THIS SO I DON'T FIND IT BEING USED ON A KASHI COMMERCIAL OR SOMETHING #INFRINGEMENT 

My market Street salad☝with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and a dash of happiness, health and prosperity for dressing.

Ryan's chicken, broccoli and cheese concoction ☝. Said Ryan on the recipe, "IT'S DELICIOUS, DAMN IT."

Challenges

• According to The Gracious Pantry, canned veggies and packaged meats aren't allowed, which really imposes on my fondness of chickpeas and well, packaged turkey meat. IT'S FINE I'LL JUST PLANT A GARBANZO BEAN GARDEN ON MEMORIAL CIRCLE, I WILL BE FINE, ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
• Not being able to eat Nature Valley bars. CHRIST. Those are healthy, lalala, yes, but they aren't all natural, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE KRISPY KREME DONUTS ON THE ALL NATURAL DIET. 
• Not eating Jack in the Box at 3 AM is... uncomfortable.
• Switching from ranch dressing with salad to olive oil and balsamic. 
• SAYING NO TO COMMUNITY BOXES OF PIZZA AT WORK.
• Not having cheese.(only parm) Wah
• Not having store bought pasta sauce. I try to just do tomatoes, parmesan cheese, olive oil and salt. 
• Not having packaged turkey meat. IT'S PROCESSED.
• NOT HAVING SUN CHIPS.
• NOT HAVING SPECIALTY COFFEE DRINKS FROM STARBS

Recipes I want to try

Grilled stuffed peppers

Romaine and artichoke salad

Roasted pepper and shrimp pasta

Actual photos of Ryan and I from March this year ☝ (of course drinking organic, whole wheat, gluten free, calorie free, clean, vegan, plant-only, holy, alcohol at Chimy's)


Stay tuned for Ryan's blog. 

✌

MAD FOR MONMOUTH & CRAZY FOR GATSBY

It's Monmouth week, b!tches. 

SO I MEAN, I'M JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT MONMOUTH '13, SENIOR YEAR, GREAT GATSBY THEME☜ ☝ ☞ ☟ 

yes mama is doing her hair like this☟

LC, always there to answer my beauty crisis questions. 

Watch this new trailer☟. now. meow. now.

What is Monmouth? Why is it called Monmouth? Why is it only Kappa & Pi Phi?

• Kappa and Pi Phi were both founded in Monmouth College in Monmouth Illinois. Pi Phi in 1867 and Kappa in 1870.
• I think the previous sentence about covers it.

Pi Beta Phi founders

Kappa Kappa Gamma founders, (I SEE YOU MARY LOUISE BENNET!!!!!!!!!)

see you on the party bus, trickzzzz

Things You Will Learn the Hard Way in College

Heed my word, undergradlings. I am now approaching the dawn of graduation and have picked up a few life experiences/lessons along the way. Here are things you will learn throughout your college experience, if you haven’t already.

There are 65,000 tulips on campus. TTU florists learned the hard way that it snows in Lubbock in April, and thousands of those tulips are now... um, dead. 

Dating

• ·      There will be someone out there that you will really like and they will not feel the same way.
• ·      There will be someone out there that you will really like and they will ask if your friend is single.
• ·      There will be someone out there you have a great time being friends with, and he/she will want something more, and you’ll have to friendzone them.
• ·      You will also be friendzoned.
• ·      If he/she is not texting you back, it’s because they genuinely do not like you, no matter what your friends tell you to convince you otherwise.
• ·      Guys talk just as much as girls.
• ·      One day, someone of the opposite sex will give you a compliment that you will remember the rest of your life.
• ·      One day, someone of the opposite sex will tell you something hurtful that you will remember it the rest of your life.

Friends

• ·      You will meet so many people freshmen year, and go through different groups of friends, but eventually you’ll find a solid few that stick it through with you until senior year.
• ·      You will count on a friend for something, and they will let you down.
• ·      You will also let someone down.
• ·      Your best friend right now is not guaranteed to be your bestie in a year.
• ·      Friends should not always be roommates.
• ·      You will meet so many people and barely skim the surface on 99% of them. You will miss out on some seriously cool people if you write them off too soon for silly (and often shallow) reasons. (That girl with an annoyingly high-pitched voice isn’t that bad, and you realize maybe she genuinely can’t help her voice sounds like that.)
• ·      A friend that gives you a ride to or from the airport is a true friend.
• ·      Not everyone is going to like you.
• ·      The friend that tells you something you don’t want to hear, but need to hear, is a true friend.
• ·      There will be people you extremely admire from afar, and you’ll wish you were better friends with them. You’ll never express this to them and you’ll regret it.
• ·      There is no such thing as taking too many pictures.

School

• ·      The number of professors that genuinely care about you will be significantly less than the number of professors that don’t.
• ·      You will type a long paper/report, forget to save it, something will crash, and you will lose it all.
• ·      You will forget to check your junk mail for months at a time, and miss quite a few important e-mails.
• ·      Sure, it sucks waking up early for morning classes, but all that free time during the afternoon can be such a blessing.
• ·      Going to class after 1 on a day with great weather is harder than waking up early.
• ·      Group projects can sometimes be a gift sent express-delivery from the Devil himself.
• ·      You will do an entire group project by yourself.
• ·      You will buy a brand new math textbook for $200, sell it back after a one-month summer class, and get $12 back.
• ·      Doing class full time and having a job part time is super-difficult—but having extra money is worth it.
• ·      Cramming the night before on Monster and generic brand adderal is not the answer.

Going out

• ·      You will have to take care of so many drunk, crying girls throughout your college experience, you will feel as though you should write a “How to” for dummies book.
• ·      You will eventually be one of them (or a drunk, fighting boy for that matter).
• ·      Getting a fake ID and going out to the bars as a lowerclassmen really sets yourself up for getting burnt out early on as an upperclassmen. Go to house parties. It seems like the end of the world being 18-20, but once you’re 21 there will be plenty of time for the bars.
• ·      You will turn 22 and be entirely over the bar scene and wonder what’s wrong with you.
• ·      Your mom will give you advice-worthy guidelines pertaining to drinking. You will not listen. You will go overboard and thoroughly regret it.
• ·      You will wait in line at Chimy’s for 15 minutes, get to the front, and realize you don’t have your I.D.
• ·      Wearing heels is not worth it sometimes.
• ·      Going to Cricket’s on a Monday, sober in a T-shirt and Norts will lead to judgmental stares from others, but also to good memories.
• ·      You will find that going to that date party last minute and dateless without the appropriate costume can be 10x more fun than going drunk and with a date.
• ·      Fun people aren’t always attractive people. Attractive people aren’t always fun.

Some red raiders looking very breakfast clubby chillaxin in 1980.

You do not need your eyes checked to read this title: I AM OVER ALCOHOL

it is my birthday. 

I should start out this post, BEFORE YOU CAST YOUR JUDGMENTAL STARES ON YOUR COMPUTER/IPHONE SCREEN, by stating yesterday was my twenty second year celebration of being alive. As goes with celebrations, alcohol was involved. 

On a contrasting note, nothing to do with my birthday, I keep hearing variations of the following phrase:

"It's our last semester in college. We have one month left. WE HAVE TO PARTY AND GET BLACKOUT EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND AND MONDAY AND TUESDAY."

The pressure????????@#*()!@#$?!!!!!! Wait, so on top of doing everything it takes to graduate, figuring out the logistics of what's happening AFTER we graduate, staying on top of going to class and studying for exams, plus some of us have jobs and internships, AND SOME OF US HAVE BOTH OF THOSE, now you're telling me THAT I HAVE TO DRINK 5-6 NIGHTS A WEEK TO FULLY GET THE MOST OUT OF MY COLLEGE EXPERIENCE?????????????? THIS IS EXHAUSTING. 

But, yes, let's go take advantage of the March Madness dollar beer deals and not even watch basketball. Then let's go to Crickets for karaoke because it's Monday and yolo and yogo (you only graduate once) and all that. 

That's been about the mentality.

But after the big 2-2, I'm just sooo.... over it. ARE THERE NO OTHER WAYS TO CELEBRATE OUR LAST MONTH OF SCHOOL???????? Personally, I'd like to try all the hole-in-the-ass-wall coffee shops all around Lubbock. Lubbock HAS SO MANY RANDOM ASS COFFEE SHOPS. IT'S MILDLY BIZARRE. WHAT IS THAT???? I happen to thoroughly enjoy coffee and different creamers and who knows, maybe I want to wake up on a Saturday morning and go to that Gatsby's place, solely because it is called Gatsby's, and who knows, maybe I want to find out why. 

Where is the person that says variations of the following phrase:

"It's our last semester in college. We have one month left. WE HAVE TO GO VISIT ALL THE HAUNTED PLACES IN LUBBOCK AND GO HAVE A PICNIC IN THAT ONE RANDOM SCENIC SPOT WITH TREES AND CREEK AND SNEAK INTO MULTIPLE MOVIES AT THAT NEW IMAX THEATRE PLACE."

Where is THAT person?? I heard the airport parking lot was haunted LET'S MAKE LIKE GHOST ADVENTURES AND GET CREEPED OUT.

What about my stupid DIY/CRAFTS pinterest board??? What about that??? Maybe I'd ACTUALLY like to do something from that board???? A FOREIGN THOUGHT---TO ACTUALLY DO THE THINGS YOU PIN------~~~~~~~ btw here is my crafts board :>

There are legitimate books I've owned for years with intentions of reading and never actually reading. I AM SORRY PRIDE AND PREJIDUCE. BE MORE INTERESTING IN THE FIRST 20 PAGES, MAMA HAS ADD. Would it be the end of the world if I stayed in ON A FRIDAY NIGHT and read something???????????????????????????

Card games. Board games. Getting retardedly competitive. Baking. Cooking. Talking. Asking "would you rather" questions. Wig shopping. Why isn't wig shopping a normal thing people do? How fun is wig shopping? WHY AREN'T WE WIG SHOPPING, PEOPLE???????????????????????????

Have you ever just sat down with someone, over an assortment of cheeses, grapes, crackers and wine, and listened to blues--NO TV-- and just TALKED to them and not HALF talking to them HALF texting someone else HALF checking Twitter HALF looking through instagram ETC ETC ETC???? You should try it. People don't do that nearly enough. 

GEN Y: LISTEN TO MUSIC THAT YOUR PARENTS DID GROWING UP. 

Click here: sing to me, otis

When did girls nights lose their sparkle??? Remember high school when you and your 4 frenemies would plan a night to gossip, smear green age-defying goop on your faces, paint each other's nails--with REAL NAIL POLISH, NOT THAT IMPRESSION/NAIL STICKER CRAP--eat junk food, listen to girly jams (BEIBER!!!!), and wear cute PJ's??????????????? Maybe I want to do that. Sue me. Sue me. Maybe I want to have a girls night. Maybe I want to have a girls night with guys and force them to let me paint their nails and wear a face mask. Sue me. Sue me. 

I would like to buy every single brand of dark chocolate I can find and spend one entire night deciding on my VERY favorite brand/taste of dark chocolate. And then be extremely brand loyal to that dark chocolate, and follow it on every social media account and tweet about it when I'm eating it and wait for them to tweet me back and freak out like it's a big deal. 

Road trip to a random, weird nearby city that looks like it has the population of 3 homeless people. Take pictures there. WHY NOT???? WHY. IT'S A DAY TRIP. Imagine if you weren't hungover to death on a Saturday and drove to Muleshoe and just did random things there and realized GAWD MULESHOE IS SO LAME but be having so much fun and getting back to Lubbock and feeling like it's Vegas compared to the dump-town you just left. 

Entire seasons of The Office. Entire seasons of GIRLS. Or Sex and the City. Or Nip/Tuck. I hear Nip/Tuck is great. I've never seen it. Maybe I'd like to. Maybe I want to stay in one night and eat homemade popcorn--POPPED FROM THE STOVE--and watch ENTIRE SEASONS of a TV show. WHAT THE EF IS THE STATUS OF CHUCK AND BLAIR????? I WOULDN'T KNOW. 

In conclusion...

My friends are going to read this and text me 4 lines of the granny emoji, but I'M NOT SORRY Y'ALL. Today I was on my deathbed, my throat feels and sounds like it went through a coffee grinder today after violently regurgitating my insides, AND I JUST KIND OF WISH MY DAY HAD PLAYED OUT DIFFERENTLY STARTING WITH LAST NIGHT PLAYING OUT DIFFERENTLY HASH TAG TOO MANY FREE SHOTS HASH TAG THANKS BUT NO THANKS FOR ALL THE FREE SHOTS HASH TAG I DON'T WANT THIS HASH TAG TOOK IT ANYWAY. 

Enforcing a new personal 18th amendment. 

Jay-Z writes Open Le---WAIT DID YOU SEE HOW FAB BEY LOOKED IN CUBA?!

Apparently American conservatives are in a tizzy because Hov took his Single Lady to Cuba last week.  Then something something to do with his basketball team and Brooklyn, then something lalala to do with an Obama lyric and treasury and permissions something something, fuzzy on the deetz, BUT DID YOU SEE BEYONCE IN ALL HER CUBAN STYLE GLORY???????????????

THOSE SUNGLASSES. THOSE EARRINGS. 

PERFECTLY COMPLIMENTARY SHADE OF LIPSTICK

BLUE IVY PRINT MINI DRESS

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE WHO CAN WORRY ABOUT RAP LYRICS AT A TIME LIKE THIS????? IS NO ONE SEEING HOW SHE EFFORTLESSLY PULLS OFF OXFORD FLATS WITH A PATTERN LONG SLEEVE MINI DRESS IN APRIL?????

OH AND LEAVE IT TO THE QUEEN B TO MAKE ME WANT DREADS NOW???? I THINK I WANT A DREAD-LOCK UP DO?????????????????????

Let 'em hate, Beyonc-Z, just carry on with life, it's your party (5th anniversary) and you'll cry Cuba if you want to.

"I DONE TURNED HAVANA INTO ATLANTA"

-Aristotle

The 30 Day Clean Eating Challenge--Do I really want to do this?

BERRIES AND ALMONDS AND SPINACH OH MY

Apparently there is this new non-fad, fad non-diet, diet going around called "CLEAN EATING." You may have heard of it. It is a scenario in which you eat clean. 

Many women out there have taken it upon themselves to take a 30-day challenge of following this plan. I'm considering associating myself with that exact stone cold pack of weirdos. 

What it is: (according to sleepeatgymrepeat.com)

• Eating food in its most natural state
• Nothing white (flour, sugar, rice, etc)
• Avoid all things processed and refined
• Lean protein and healthy fats (like those from nuts)
• Lots and lots of organic fruits and vegetables.
• Organic products
• No preservatives, no fast food, no alcohol (say whaaat?)
• No or limited dairy (depending on who you ask
• At least 8 cups of water per day
• No sodas or sugary drinks

An in-depth shopping list can be found here. 

My first impression:

• Nothing processed and refined? Goodbye 2 AM Jack in the Box runs
• NO ALCOHOL???????? ALLOW ME TO IMPLEMENT A "CHEAT DAY" RULE. Because I don't know about you but I'm feeling twenty two and day-time jaunts to Chimy's happy hour are real life and I think as long as 1 or 2 light beers doesn't turn into 48 or 49 heavy taco orders, then I'LL BE FINE. CHALLENGE NOT RUINED. (just work with me... twerk with me)
• No or limited dairy. My first stupid nutrition question is--DOES ALMOND MILK COUNT AS DAIRY??? OR SHOULD I CATEGORIZE THAT IN THE NUTS/LEGUMES SECTION??? I WILL GO WITH LIMITED DAIRY AS OPPOSED TO THE NON-DAIRY LIFESTYLE.
• I see nothing about coffee. AKA, I will continue to consume Dunkin' Donuts coffee until I die. 
• SO IF WE CAN ALL AGREE TO OVERLOOK MY MINOR ALCOHOL/COFFEE FLAWS THEN WE CAN ALL AGREE TO GET ALONG.

Why this is might not be a challenge after all:

• I already pretty much eat "clean." It's not like this will be an absolute upside down world for me--you can ask my roommate...and my nearly-empty, junk-food-free cabinet.
• I MEAN THERE ARE CHIA SEEDS IN MY FRIDGE RIGHT NOW. FREAKING CHIA SEEDS.
• I really do drink almond milk. Hash tag in real life. 
• I am not picky AT ALL when it comes to food. It's a blessing and it's a curse... So sure, I don't mind eating weird things like quinoa and kale but no, I'm not opposed to any type of pizza, taco or burger (Or cookie or ice cream or wine or frito etc etc etc)
• I already work out regularly. MAMA'S A RUNNER. 
• I am a big tea drinker. So that has to count towards something positive. 

Why I want to take on the challenge:

• Kind of just for the hell of it, man.
• Also, they say you don't have to count calories on this plan because it's all healthy. Which is great for me, because counting numbers makes me want to rock back and forth in the fetal position in a cold, dark Alaskan cave. 

When I would start the 30 day challenge:

• Sunday April 14th, 2013. Which is conveniently after my birthday, and let me just say, happy birthday to me for starting the challenge post-party. 
• So April 14-May 14. If that wasn't clear. 

Benefits of eating clean:

• Great for metabolism
• Rids body of harmful toxins, preservatives and chemicals 
• Glowing skin
• Stronger nails
• Healthier hair
• Better sleep
• More energy
• I mean, LOSING WEIGHT??? ONE COULD WOULD ASSUME????????

The real challenge for me will be eating this way for 30 days straight WITH NO EATING OUT, OR HUGE ALCOHOL HOO-RAH'S. Money may prove to be an issue as well. We'll see how that plays out.. 

ALSO, I might mention that I've been drinking beer like a fish lately. I feel this is necessary to point out because this IS SO UNLIKE ME. I've NEVER been a beer-girl. Ugh, I'm officially growing up, and as if picking out my cap and gown and graduate invitations the other day wasn't enough of a reminder, NOW I LIKE TO DRINK BEER AND HAVE OUTGROWN MY CHILDISH VODKA CRANBERRY WAYS. 

Others who took on the challenge:

• Cookie & Ozzy
• Little runner girl
• Skinnie Minnie Moves
• And various friends in the lubbock area that I will coerce to join me on this venture

Balsamic glazed cracked pepper salmon recipe here

Last thoughts:

• Am I going to commit suicide day 29?
• Am I capable of eating THAT clean for THAT long with NO exceptions I.E. mexican food?
• Is this going to be outrageously expensive? Am I going to have to apply to a scholarship and/or take out a loan and/or become a prostitute to get through this month?
• WILL I SURVIVE ONE WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT RESTAURANT CUISINES???
• Am I only doing this so I have an excuse to instagram what I eat??? sigh... 

s t a y   t u n e d . . . . . .