Yoplait, you will never be greek. Fetch will never happen.

Thoughts I'm having on food this week....

Greek yogurt. I'm on a mission to find my favorite tasting brand. So far, Fage is my favorite. Chobani plain is really... um... rough. It's rough. Chobani DARK CHOCOLATE OR KEY LIME PIE ON THE OTHER HAND IS SO DELICIOUS. Notice Key lime pie isn't seen above, because IT'S ALREADY BEEN EATEN. I want to try every brand and pick out my favorite to become a solid brand-loyal greek yogurt advocate. Oikos, Dannon and Yoplait are next on my list, except I have a hard time putting Yoplait in my evoked set of Greek yogurts because I grew up with that brand NOT as greek yogurt. It's a like a mexican friend waking up one day and deciding they're chinese. NO. YOU'RE MEXICAN. YOU'RE NOT GREEK, YOPLAIT.
Oh, and I'd sooner shoot my left foot than eat Activia #jamieleecurtisSNLskit

YOPLAIT. GREEK. LOL.

Meal replacement shakes. I love them. Always have. In high school, I was obsessed with Slimfast. They're so fast, easy to grab on the go and TASTE GOOD. I've grown up a small fraction of a bit since then and have graduated to GNC Lean brand as my favorite shake of choice. The Lean brand never fails me. HOWEVER. I stumbled upon this ☝ brand last night at Sprout's and thought I'd try it because all the fitness instagram accounts I follow always talk about "cacao."
It is vegan, gluten free, dairy free, soy free.....
AND TASTE FREE. IT IS SO PAINFULLY DISGUSTING I COULD DIE. I DID DIE ACTUALLY. I AM DEAD AS I TYPE THIS BECAUSE THIS PROTEIN POWDER IS THAT GOD AWFUL.
So this morning, in a rush as usual and realizing I wouldn't get a lunch break today, I just filled up 2 shaker cup things of this powder stuff for breakfast and lunch today. But after tasting it for breakfast on my way to work--LIKE LITERALLY CAR IN MOTION--I discovered how bad it was. I survived on 2 Nature Valley Bars today. And no, I don't think those are "clean" by "clean" standards.
And I am not picky. For me to say something tastes bad, IT MUST FREAKING TASTE BAD.
So I'm going back tonight and fist-fighting someone for my $40 back and running through snow, sleet and rain as fast as I can to the nearest GNC and begging them my forgiveness, BECAUSE FATHER, I HAVE SINNED #CHEATEDONMYFAVORITEBRAND. 

Hands down the best meal replacements out there. 

These golden sticks of love are my sweet potato fries. Cutting this sweet potato was literally the hardest physical challenge I've put myself through in a long time. This includes all the times I've read Amanda Bynes tweets recently, and God knows that's always a painful experience, so for me to say cutting this block of starch was MORE painful, is saying something. Anyways, I will surely have sore arms tomorrow from cutting that freaking potato BUT HAYYOOO LOOK AT DAT SIDE DISH. Drizzle o' olive oil, sprinkle o' salt, and you got yourself a quality housewife french fry.
Such an easy and delicious recipe--now I will have healthy french fries waiting on me every day I get home this week. Or at least until they last.... So I'll have them just tomorrow... 

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TGIF outfit & recipe

dVb Victoria Beckham lacy top / rag & bone/JEAN destroyed boyfriend jeans / Valentino pointed toe flat / Tom Ford lip makeup / Deborah Lippmann nail lacquer / kate spade new york Say The Word Skirt The Rules Mug

My favorite favorite FAVORITE item here are the Valentino pointed toe flats. In my mind, I feel like neutral-colored pointed toe flats make the leg look longer, while dark or bright rounded toe flats make it appear shorter. This scientific conclusion is brought to you by the sound reasoning "in my mind," I should reiterate. They can easily be worn casually or dressed up, and the studs and snakeskin just make it fun and less basic. No one wants to be basic, for fear of being rapped about by Kreayshawn #ihopepeoplegetthatreference.

And that Kate Spade mug!!!!!! What a great gift for the coffee-addict. The inside says "skirt the rules." I'm obligated to be partial to Kate because she's a kappa. ALL YOU THETAS OUT THERE ARE NODDING YOUR HEADS BECAUSE YOU GET IT #TORYBURCH

Oh, another thing, and by "wishlist" I really do mean WISH list, because I WISH I could pull off boyfriend jeans like so many other female trendsters and celebrities out there. I JUST CAN'T. I think boyfriend jeans are made for Selena Gomez bodies and you know, that's cool, that's fine, but this a$$ just can't pull off the "boyfriend jean" style. it fine... 

HERE LIES AUGUSTA.

SHE COULD NEVER WEAR BOYFRIEND DENIM.

New recipe I tried out this week

Quinoa protein balls. recipe here totally #CLEAN for all you #30daychallengers out there #WHOOP

My protein chia balls...... MINUS THE PROTEIN AND CHIA / DOUBLE THE CHOCOLATE. SO THERE'S THAT.
DON'T MIND MY HIGH RES IPHONE PHOTO

All you do is mash the ingredients together in a bowl and freeze them. It's too easy. I lost my chia seeds in the moving process #whitegirlproblems and don't have any chocolate protein powder handy, BUT I DID HAVE A NICE LIL BAGSKI OF DARK CHOCOLATE CHIPS, TO WHICH I GAINFULLY EMPLOYED FOR USAGE IN THIS RECIPE. 

I think they taste good, but then again, I will pretty much eat anything. I brought one to my internship today for my boss and by the time I drove there, parked and walked in the building the ball was melted into a sad little goop pile in a ziplock bag that all but made a "womp womp woooooomp" sound when you looked at it. I said, "I brought you this but now I don't want to give it to you because it's ugly." She was so sweet and ate it anyway, she probably wanted to kill herself, haaaaa, so I don't recommend them as work-friendly treats. Unless they stay in the freezer...

I'm off to a birthday cookout! 

#ilovedallas

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Disclaimer: FOOD PICS INVOLVED.

Super entertaining stuff right here. What blog dreams are made of.

This meal became my "#WHOLE30 GO-TO IM FUNGRY AND NEED TO EAT ASAP" meal. It's made of healthy ingredients I can VIOLENTLY THROW together and eat in a mad starving after-work-pre-group-project-allnighter ordeal. 

This pasta. This. Pasta. You'll never know you're on a "clean" eating kick with this stuff. Whole wheat pasta, mushrooms, spinach, natural tomato sauce, parm cheese. Hellllloooooo. hello. 

Hi rushed morning to internship breakfast/snack/coffee. 

I call this my "THROW EVERYTHING INTO A BOWL AND HEAT IT" delicacy.  Beautifully photoed here, we have red pepper soup, mushrooms, herbs and quinoa. 

So I made this pasta a lot. 

FEELIN' FRUITY

Not pictured in this photo-pic-storage-post..... Ben & Jerry's ice cream during long hours at the study lounge with the campaigns group project peeps...... Josie's burrito after pulling an all nighter with said group project...... wine and italian food with the sister in Dallas......... Kappa Kupcake on senior night....... AND CHIMY'S TACOS IN THERE SOMEWHERE. #30DAYCLEANEATINGCHALLENGE

A food diary--A FREAKING CLEAN ONE

HERE IS WHERE I GO INTO UNCANNY DETAIL ABOUT WHAT I ATE TODAY.

Breakfast
Ass yogurt with craisins, almonds, agave nectar and grapefruit. Literally the only way I'm able to pull through the plain Greek yogurt flavor is because the sweetness of the agave and craisins. YOU WIN, MOTHER, IM FINALLY USING AGAVE NECTAR. I was in too much of a rush eating this in the car this morning to snap a pic, so this professionally made collage will have to suffice.


Lunch
Kale chips, sweet potato fries, left over veggie soup from Souper Salad, cottage cheese with chia seeds and cherry tomatoes, and a radish/cucumber salad. Also had a green apple and craisins out of a mason jar so yes, I am exceptionally sophisticated.

Um, huge lunch. Couldn't finish it and was still so full. EATING CLEAN MEANS EATING A LOT DOE


Dinner
So I bought some type of fish I've never heard of. Swai????? All I know is there was a deal on it at Market Street and I said I'll take that. So I made a spinach swai(?) salad with sunflower seeds, cottage cheese, cherry tomatoes, a tiny bit of chia seeds and dried edamame WHICH BTW IM OBSESSED WITH DRIED EDAMAME NOW. It's like ...... Zero calories and all happiness and salt.

Salad dressing: OLIVE OIL / LEMON JUICE/ TEARS


After dinner snack
I've always liked to eat fruit after dinner, before bed. I usually chop up a pineapple, strawberries, apple, pear, OR MY FAVORITE, pomegranate ~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~<<<3333 But tonight was blueberries, dark chocolate and strawberriezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZz

#30daycleaneatingchallenge #well #sortof

Big news: RYAN MCGONAGILL OF BOSTON MASSACHUSETTS HAS DECIDED TO TAKE ON THIS CHALLENGE WITH ME. 

Therefore, he will be popping in and doing some guest blogs, and watch out, he's funnier than even me--I KNOW, HARD TO BELIEVE, SOMEONE FUNNIER THAN ME, I KNOW, BUT YES, HE IS, BELIEVE IT SISTER.

US BEFORE WE STARTED THE CLEAN EATING CHALLENGE

4-14

US ONE WEEK AFTER STARTING THE CHALLENGE 

4-21

SO YEAH WE'RE LIKE FEELING SRSLY CLEAN N HEALTHY N SH✽T

When I say I'm taking on a "clean eating challenge" what this really entails is eating all natural like 87.982% of the time. Ryan and I both decided beer and coffee are both pure and natural and all that is holy and thus allowed on the plan. In addition to those exceptions, I'm not opposed to letting myself eat something normal the other small percentage of the time. Por ejemplo, I went to the movies last night with my gUrL FrIeNdZz and had peanut M&Ms and popcorn.

Despite the small allowancez and exceptionz, my whole way of cooking has changed. Being that, I'm actually, you know, like cooking.

• Tilapia 
• Brown rice
• Quinoa 
• Chicken breasts
• Whole wheat pasta
• Asparagus
• Sweet potato french fries
• Kale chips
• Hard boiled eggs
• TONS OF FRUIT LITERALLY UNCANNY AMOUNTS
• Almonds
• Omeletes
• Salad $tuff
• Sauteed squash (OLIVE OIL IS MY BEST FRIEND.)
• Greek yogurt (DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY LIKE GREEK YOGURT??? SERIOUS QUESTION????????)
• Cottage cheese. 
• I feel the need to make cottage cheese its own bullet because I eat it that much. With that said...
• Coffee.
• Coffee.
• Coffee.

#Obsessed

I've also grown fond of these suckers I found at Market Street. ☝

CLASSY BIRTHDAY FLOWERS & FRUIT IN MASON JAR SHOT

Kale chips and sweet potato #HOUSEWIFE

SO I LITERALLY MADE THIS ATE THIS AND INSTAGRAMMED THIS. Strawberry spinach salad with chia seeds and sunflower seeds #soooooooo #gooooooooood

#TILAPIASWAG

Pardon my extremely advanced production equipment. This particular image was captured by my EXTREMELY ADVANCED IPHONE TECHNOLOGY. I BETTER COPY RIGHT THIS SO I DON'T FIND IT BEING USED ON A KASHI COMMERCIAL OR SOMETHING #INFRINGEMENT 

My market Street salad☝with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and a dash of happiness, health and prosperity for dressing.

Ryan's chicken, broccoli and cheese concoction ☝. Said Ryan on the recipe, "IT'S DELICIOUS, DAMN IT."

Challenges

• According to The Gracious Pantry, canned veggies and packaged meats aren't allowed, which really imposes on my fondness of chickpeas and well, packaged turkey meat. IT'S FINE I'LL JUST PLANT A GARBANZO BEAN GARDEN ON MEMORIAL CIRCLE, I WILL BE FINE, ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
• Not being able to eat Nature Valley bars. CHRIST. Those are healthy, lalala, yes, but they aren't all natural, SO THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE KRISPY KREME DONUTS ON THE ALL NATURAL DIET. 
• Not eating Jack in the Box at 3 AM is... uncomfortable.
• Switching from ranch dressing with salad to olive oil and balsamic. 
• SAYING NO TO COMMUNITY BOXES OF PIZZA AT WORK.
• Not having cheese.(only parm) Wah
• Not having store bought pasta sauce. I try to just do tomatoes, parmesan cheese, olive oil and salt. 
• Not having packaged turkey meat. IT'S PROCESSED.
• NOT HAVING SUN CHIPS.
• NOT HAVING SPECIALTY COFFEE DRINKS FROM STARBS

Recipes I want to try

Grilled stuffed peppers

Romaine and artichoke salad

Roasted pepper and shrimp pasta

Actual photos of Ryan and I from March this year ☝ (of course drinking organic, whole wheat, gluten free, calorie free, clean, vegan, plant-only, holy, alcohol at Chimy's)


Stay tuned for Ryan's blog. 

✌