The Other New Pants

The "Lacy bell bottom pants" as i like to call them because they are lacy bell bottom pants. I keep seeing these lil babies everywhere.

Naturally, they are on my to do list.

These are by $187 by Nightcap clothing, and actually sold out on shopbop.

Most of my friends wouldn't dare step into a racy lacy number like this, but I for one love it, and I'm going to post some pictures that could inspire even the toughest of critics into giving them a try.

Lace and 70s are still going big, so indulge your self! Go wild!

And don't worry, I found the forever21 version...

I'm not opposed to these at all. Not the same, but Forever21 says, "You get the idea."

My only last advice for The Other New Pants...

• Avoid hooks and eyes
• Chunky heels/wedges=MUST
• No crop top unless the pants are highwaisted. Unless your Giselle, then whatever.
• These are more like night time/going out pants to me. Don't mosey into English class in these (unless it's a Friday 8am "morning after", then we'll let it slide)

HAPPY HUMP DAY.

Objects of Envy

If only I won the lottery, these things would be in my life...

1. The Linea Pelle Dylan Quilted Chevron wallet. For those of you who are around me enough to listen to me complain all the time, you know I've been on the hunt for the perfect wallet for quite some time. SO FINALLY one of my favorite designers came out with a quality wallet that (drumroll) HAS A CLEAR SLOT FOR THE fake ID. Finally. And although I don't like zebra as near as much as I did in high school, I don't mind her signature zebra-esque lining. You go Linea. Oh, also obsessed with the color crimson.

2. The GGL Backpack. Do I even need to explain why this is an object of envy??? Do I really need to??????? This color doesn't stand out as my fav, but Chrome just got in a sport nylon one and..... just no words.

3. Leather. Skirts, shorts, dresses. Just need more of it in my life, other than jacket-form.

4. The kimono jacket. The floor length cardigan. Whatever you want to call it, just mail it to me in my size.

5. The Palazzo pants. I've already blogged about these, so you know I mean bidniz. And can one really own too much floral? I'll tell you that answer is no.

6. Lusting after loafers. Hello fall 2011 trends. Get on my level.

OH- and don't miss these studded Jeffrey's... #obsessed

7. The Navajo trend. I just want it to last forever. But then again I'm from New Mexico, and while I wasn't raised in a teepee, things like this have always been in my house, and a part of my town. TURQUOISE FOREVER.

And finally, my last object of envy would have to be thousands of dollars. Because if I had that, I would be able to have all of the other objects of envy.

Until then... I CAN BLOG ABOUT IT!!!!!!!

P.S.

Pretty much everything in this blog can be found at Chrome. But like literally everything. So if you live in the LBK, then go ASAP, OMG, TTYL.

The New Pants

The crazy pants. I did a little digging into this trend, and some are calling it the "Palazzo Pants"

I'm not one to draw anymore attention to these American thighs, but my coworkers have been sporting this, and needless to say: Rocking It. So, naturally, it inspired a blog post.

In fact, Chrome just got A TON in for our fall shipments. They are all soooooo cute, and made with really good fabric. Me touch. Soft. Me like.

The first dilemma that comes to mind when considering Palazzo pants is probably, "What the ef do I wear with those???" Well it's called google images, and a lot of inspiration can come from there if only you type it in. That's an easy way at least, if you're into watching runway shows, or browsing look books, then inspiration shalln't be a problem.

I think my favorite looks are tucking a slim-fitting shirt into the pants and adding a statement neckless. Or if the pants are high enough, you could wear a boxy, off-the-shoulder, crop top, like the girls on the left and middle.

I particularly like that red pair in the middle. Very Rachel Zoe.

I love this picture I came across because it gives a "Palazzo Pants For Dummies" kind of thing explaining what to accessorize it with. Also explicitly obsessed with the pleated top by Topshop.

In Other News

• Our good friend Lizzie McGuire is now pregnant. As if the world needed another season of Teen Mom.
• For all of you sorority sisters out there, work week has started, and I feel your pain. I have blue magic marker all over me, very akin to a five year old.
• I only spent $7 at Josies last night

Happy Sunday, bloggers! I hope everyone gets a good start to their week!

I have problems

The other night I couldn't sleep. Just drowning in thoughts. We all have those nights. Then I finally got up and googled "cracked mouth corner."

Short story shorter, I have come to the conclusion that I have Angular Cheilitis. It's a chronic, yes, CHRONIC, disease in which you have a cracked mouth corner. Seriously????? If I'm going to have a disease can I at least get one that requires sympathy????? Or a cut on tuition??? Handicapped parking?????? i'm being extreme and sarcastic, i'm just kidding, don't hate me, i'm thankful for my life and health.

This is Angular Cheilitis, I'm sorry it's really gross, mine is actually not this bad. I also don't know who took the time to fade the edges of this picture, apparently someone who has less of a life than an avid blogger like myself.

As if Chronic Celulitus wasn't bad enough, lets throw in a mouth fungus. or bacteria, i'm not sure, i'm not doctor freaking oz. After all, I wasn't diagnosed this by a proffesh, just me and WebMd. Love that website!!

Eyebrow Update

For those of you who tune in on the reg, and know about my whereabouts last Thursday, I'd like to give a short update. My eyebrows look normal now. Darker, but normal enough. At least I can now throw away my eyebrow pencil.

In other news, the corner of my mouth isn't the only thing my therapist should know about. I somehow came upon the idea of googling "do I have a shopping problem? quiz" I made an effort at a funny facebook status, tagged a few coworkers, and made a mediocre joke about our shopping habits. ha. ha. So then just for kickz n gigglez, I took the quiz. Let's review the results.

You scored 12 (scoring range: 0-15)

You definitely have an addiction to shopping.See my article on shopping

addiction for ways to combat your spending impulses. It may be wise to

enlist help from a friend or loved one, or even therapist to help you regain some control over your spending.

Needless to say, I answered the questions honestly. What started out to be a funny thing, took a disturbing turn. Could I really have a problem???? As I type this blog, I currently sit on top of $7 in my bank account. I was paid last week? If I hadn't impulsed shopped on 2 occasions (damn you nastygal and post-hair-appt-emotions), then I'd be sitting on over $200? Crap...

This is the part in my life where a clip of LIAR LIAR plays in my head. It is the part where he finds out he can't lie and he is freaking out/meltdown, and he gasps out, "WHAT'S-WRONG-WITHMEEEE"

Then another voice pops in my head. Not the voice of the devil, but possibly a 21-year old blonde, sorority version of what could be Satan sitting on my shoulder. SGP. More commonly known as @SororityGirlProblems. Follow them on twitter. SGP tells me that alcoholism isn't a disease, it's like a brief cold amidst the best years of your life. She is sorry she's not sorry. She's drunk and cussing all the time, and threw classy out the window right along with her (ninth) empty red cup. SGP sits on my shoulder all day and is like "#buythoseshoes #you'reyoung #makemistakes #eatfuzzys" then I have Wells Fargo on the other side saying, "YOU ARE ONLY PAID MINIMUM WAGE. YOU HAVE NO GAS." And the war goes on.

Evidently, SGP is winning.

In all seriousness, I do need to cut back on spending. Not just because I have to buy birthday presents in September, but I just need to be able to afford more than $5 of gas every now and then. I guess.

Speaking of birthday presents, and don't expect a lot mr. jake, I have decided I want to whip this up labor day weekend.

It's ice cream cake!!!! Can you tell I watched Julie & Julia tonight?? Can you tell I'm probably making this because IIIIII want it and not so much for the people who have birthdays??? Whatever. #whitegirlproblems #inthemoodtobake

I'll just finish this blog with some future posts I have in mind...

• The new pants (pant trend i've been seeing slash wanting, you know the drill)
• The new bracelet
• New song obsessions
• Fav fashion blogs of mine
• More "Today's get up" posts

Take Me Out

My eyebrows and I were out and about last night so if alcohol content offends you,

then just stop now.

Where do I even begin????? I guess I should start out by warning the public that I don't go out much. I'll just re-hash this story in play-by-by scenes. These scenes are conversations at work today, and memories that re-surfaced to my brain as the day progressed.

~/~

So a coworker comes up to me today and says, "Augusta last night you were doing this move with you arms out and knees bent swaying side to side, and I thought you were dancing, but then 3 people behind you were doing the same thing. I asked what you were doing and you said you were teaching them to water ski. I have no words."

~/~

My coworker and I were waiting on a customer to come out and show us what she's trying on when all the sudden I remembered this: I saw this little Indian dude sitting alone at the bar last night (I think my intentions were to get him away so I could sit in his barstool) and so naturally, I strike up the conv. I say something like, "So you're Indian." (I am so smooth) And he says he's from Pakistan. We blah blah blah some more and he tells me his major is Philosophy.

I really wish I was lying when I say I'm not fabricating this conversation:

I said, "You know there is nothing to do with that major after college."

him- "Yes I know..I'm going to teach it"

me- "Well good, that is about all you can do."

him- "It used to be petroleum engineering."

me- "WHY- SO YOU CAN BUILD BOMBS???" No crack of as smile.

him- "Haaa uhh that's not what petroleum engineering is.."

me- "Well, just so you know, SAMIR, (which by the way was not his name, that is just my favorite Indian name. I have a favorite Indian name. Doesn't everyone???) I happen to have a REALLY good Indian accent. Give me a sentence."

him- "I have a lot of Indian friends."

me, (In severe Indian accent)- "Eyy 'ave a-loot uv een-deee-yun frehnd-sss"

*he is impressed*

me, (still speaking in accent)- "Vaht deed eyy tehll yuh"

The rest of that conversation is a little fuzzskies, and I don't think I ever got the barstool. damnit.

~/~

SPOTTED: BEN F FROM THE BACHELORETTE.

Ben F, posing with my eye brows.

I am sitting at a table, chillin like a villain with the coworkers, when I spot someone across the way, and calmly scream with bloody murder,

"BEN F????????? FROM THE BACH????????"

He says, "DAMN IT, NOT AGAIN!!! THIS IS LIKE THE FOURTH TIME TONIGHT!!!"

I said, "You've probably never heard of Ben F, but he's this guy-"

"-OH I'VE HEARD OF HIM. He's from the bachelorette, and was dumped and has a winery!" (said with an annoyed tone, but clearly he Hulu's the sh!t out of this show and watches it under the covers at night when no one is around and stares at himself in the mirror practicing his Ben F poses. He was totes full of himself)

I said, "Well cut your dang hair! You're a Ben F replica!"

I forget where this led to.

~/~

Oh no I don't.

So for quite some time I harass him and give him uncanny hell involving bachelorette jokes, and The Men Tell All episode, and being dumped, and I end up feeling bad in my drunken stuper, so I'm like whatever I'll buy the poor guy a shot. I mean, he just got dumped on national television, it's the least I could do. Oh, and buy myself one too. So we go up to the bar and I order 2 rumples. I pay for them, and am really confused when the bartender asks me, "Run it or tab?" What the hell????? Is my card not working? (Everyone knows I'm really deaf and obvis don't speak bar language) "Oh, um it's debit."...."No, run or tab?" he persists. Ben F can tell I'm a minor slash dumb ass by this point and tells the bartender to run the damn thing. So we take our rumple shots, (which are sooooo good, btdubs) and as I'm in the process of lifting the shot glass, oh but of course, I spill it. So. As it happens... I drink his. He was so confused. Just like he was when Ashley said she wasn't marrying him. Ashley and I both owe him a shot.

SORRY, BEN :/

~/~

I spot a semi-scrawn guy with a shaved head. I casually scream, "JP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He told me his name was Rob, so I called him JP-Rob, saying "RRROOOOB" really exaggerated and doing the peace-sign-bend motion with my fingers.

Oh yeah. I'm that girl.

~/~

I'm also this girl: Walking all night from the counter, to the stage, to the bathroom, and tables, I would tap peoples' shoulder and walk away quickly in the other direction, giggling. I actually had this down to an art, and people who I tapped would look around and ask the person next to them "WHAT???" And it was chaos and awesome. But sometimes it was not so successful. Sometimes people caught me and would have that face like "really. really." And I would point at someone else.

I'm immature???????????????

~/~

At one point my coworkers were talking, and I was drifting in and out of the conversation (or consciousness, it's hard to tell) and all the sudden they all raced to put their finger to their nose, which usually entails that the last person to do so has to do something unpleasant. Luckily, I was out of the conversation enough to escape whatever had to be done even though I was definitely the last to put my finger to my nose. Then they all made a beeline for the stage with the live band. Following them, I made it a point to make eye contact with strangers and make an exaggerated rushed gesture putting my finger to my nose as if there was a contest and I would hit them if they were slow. Some people went along with it, and did it too. Some were like what the ef. Some were just really drunk.

*puts finger to nose*

~/~

"Have you seen the Cheerio's commercial?????" Augusta asks new friend that her coworkers introduces her to. This question appears to be more important than exchanging the standard information like major, sorority, age. "NO REALLY- Have you seen it???"

"No?"

"Have you?" Looks at coworker.

"No?"

"Omg. 'thats for baabiieesss'"

"Is that some sort of pick up line? Have you seen that Cheerio's commercial?"

~/~

So we end up at my house. We being a few coworkers and one of their guy friends. I don't even know what we were talking about. Most likely shoes or magazines. We are really deep. Then we realize we haven't seen the guy friend in a while. My coworker looks in my room and doesn't find him. Then she looks in the bathroom (SURELY NOT, RIGHT?!?!?!!?!?) And then she finds him. Sitting in my bathroom. Sitting. He is sitting. I'll leave it up to your imagination to guess where he's sitting. My coworker doesn't rush out or gasp or freak out like would have been standard, she just chills standing there with the door open and is like, "........ what are you doing....."

I died laughing and couldn't wait to talk about it at work today. And then later blog about it and tell the world.

~/~

So my coworkers and myself were at the bar, and about to take a shot. We try to think of something to cheers to, and I loudly and proudly say, "To my first time at BarPM!!" They look at me like SHHHH!!! Then I even louder quickly recover from that and scream, "I MEAN MY SECOND TIME."

Second time. lol.

And to end the night (circa 5am), we stop at Josie's. 7 layer dip and quesodillas. Classic. I think that was more of the reason I was hungover then the alcohol. Damn Josie.

~/~

I'd like to end this blog with a little shout out to someone spesh. It is nights like last night, the nights and most days when I'm just really obnoxious, that one coworker in particular (you know who you are) says, "HONESTLY Augusta! How do you have friends! HOW DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!?" Oh yeah, she's a real picnic. All sarcasm aside, I really do think her questions are funny, and have often wondered them myself.

And the shout outski goes to................

My boyfran:) He is never weird about me going out to bars and parties and let's me have fun without being annoying. He can even read this blog about me talking to Ben F and JP and not be jealous because he knows he's my best friend. :). He even texts me the next day saying things like "I hope you feel better sweetheart, drink gatorade." He is just really sweet??????? AW. I'M CHEESY. SORRY.

Thus, shout out to @TheJakeWright, for putting up with me, and being my boyfriend even though I'm really annoying. (Yet painstakingly right all the time, and ridiculously good looking).

Girl On A Budget

Or better titled, "Girl on a budget after spending too much on a bad hair appointment," but that wouldn't fit.

So here are my Ross purchases! Yes, Ross. I know

It's kind of hard to tell, but top left is a cropped white off-the-shoulder top that cinches in at the bottom. It has dolman sleeves, loose around your body, but tight around your arms. It would be so cute with anything high waisted! I originally picked it out as something I could cut the bottom of, and fringe, but after I tried it on, I knew that wouldn't happen.

Top Middle. An oatmeal colored basic top with cut outs on the shoulders.

Right. The gray stripped oversized sweater. I love it because it is very poncho-y and when I hold my arms out, it looks like a blanket was draped over me then sewn up the sides. who doesn't love that effect.

Bottom left. I took a better picture of this one by itself if you scroll down. But it is a lace cropped top with puffed sleeves, and a zipped back. I picture this with a pencil skirt. And a pretty bandeau under it.

Bottom middle. All the cute little knicka's I found. And a bra that has straps that arrange like 50 ways. Who needs Victoria's Secret??????

Top left is a red top that has cut outs on the shoulders. It's flowy, cropped, and cinched at the bottom again. Game day top????

Top middle/top right. Your everyday basic tee's. In two fun colors that I don't have!

Bottom left. A fitted white top with a half-turtle neck, and rouched (how the ef do you spell rouched?) sleeves. I see it in high waisted trousers, or skirt. LA LA LOVE!

Bottom middle. This one is really cool. It is a cropped silky gray top in the front, then drapes down and is only black lace in the back. It's 100% sassy.

Bottom right. I found this top stuffed in with the dresses. It is a sheer, flowy, cropped, leopard top. um-HELLO?!??!? We have tops like this at Chrome!!! I just found one at Ross??? UNREAL.

I saved this for last because it is my ABSOLUTE favorite find! It is a bright pink cardigan. It looks remarkably organge in this picture, which is weird, but it is bright pink. It is fitted in the arms, falls below my hips, and has big drapey pockets. It looks good with my dark hair! (oh and my dark eyebrows...)

And here is the picture of the black cropped lacy top. This is the back of it. Lovey????

TGIF, EVERYONE!!! Listen to Katy Perry!!!!

Eyebrow Drama

Yesterday was going to be a great day. It was my last day of summer school (also known as Last Day of BSing Stats Tests), it was my day off work, and it was a day of pampering!

7:52 am.

I woke up later than planned for my 8 am final, but still made it on time because my professor was also late (gotta love Tech). Then when sitting down to take the test, I experience another mini crisis: didn't bring the calculator! HA! I actually went into a math final... SANS CALC! Seriously Augusta???? I was kicking myself the whole test. So I did what I could then when I was done, I asked teach if he had a calculator I could borrow. He said yes "but dere ah dees-play err-ors." Um.. just give me the freaking calculator. Luckily his broken ass display screened calculator pulled through for me, and I was able to figure out slash guess the answers I hadn't finished yet.

Phew. Test over.

9:30am

Pour bowl of cereal. Realize I have no milk. Go to Leonards to buy milk. See 99 cent chocolate muffins at Leonards. Cave in. Then awkwardly buy milk. Go home. Eat muffin and stare at bowl of cereal with sliced bananas. I put it in the fridge (my roommate must wonder what the ef I'm doing 89% of the time).

10:00am-2:29pm

Blog. Shower. Put on make up and self tanner for what it's worth. Blog yet again (no life????). Half ass attempt to clean room. Watch shark week (where the ef is Andy Samberg??). Attempt to eat hours old cereal with milk this time. It tastes weird. Throw it away and make turkey sandwhich. Satisfied.

2:30pm

I find myself to be explicitly excited for my hair appt taking place in 30 minutes by this time. I had googled pictures and saved them on my handy dandy iPhone to make it easy for the stylist to know EXACTLY what I was aiming for. Here are the pictures.

I wanted this cut... Don't get me started on her "fashion line" but when it comes to her hair, I am a follower.

I wanted this color. I liked the dark ass brown softened by lighter BUT NOT BLONDE tones. Wouldn't mind having her face either.

And this is where shit gets real.

3:00pm

I sit down in the chair, with a new hair stylist. My old one had left the salon (red flag???). I show her the pictures, then we go through the color samples of hair. For some reason I get talked into picking something UNLIKE Penelope's hues. I pick this dark reddish brown. Whatever.

3:45pm

Eyebrow time. For this visit, by a salon not known for being one of the best in town, and even further I was given a new girl, for some reason I decide it an appropriate time to do something retardedly drastic. Something that should be saved for ACTUAL professionals. Augusta decides to get her eyebrows dyed the color of her new hair color. How cute.

3:55-4pm

Hair dresser has waited about ten minutes since applying eyebrow dye. She examines them and tries to wipe off a little bit with a rag. Well... naturally, the dye wiped off, but had left an evident stain.

LET'S RECAP HERE. When she applied the eyebrow dye, she didn't do it to match my eyebrow shape exact, she just swabbed on basic strokes mimicking my brows, but TWICE AS THICK as my brows' size, mind you.

Back to the story- After swiping a little off she utters, "Hmm.." I didn't think twice about her gestures, I was engrossed in an article in OK magazine about Kim Kardashian's vs. Jessica Simpson's weddings coming up. She then takes me to the sink where we rinse my hair and wipe off the rest of my eyebrows. She takes me back to the chair, where I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, without a magazine to distract me.

"HOLY #$%^&*()%$#$%^&*()%$"

-Was my first thought. So.. my eyebrows... they were free of hair cream, yet stained the exact same shape. I looked in the mirror with wet hair, and what looked like magic-markered brown eye brows. Like a little 5 year old drew clown eyebrows on me. I'm not being dramatic!

For once.

So I'm a reasonably nice person, and don't say anything.

4:15

"So what are we going to do about my eyebrows..." I push, as she starts to cut my hair. She puts down her weapon and makes a "thinking" pose. She has no idea. It is evident. She walks 3 steps to her right and assesses the opinion of a prominent-looking woman, no doubt the owner of the joint.

The owner is a very severe, older looking human with neon feathers attached in 3 places on her head. Her eyebrows are perfect however. She takes one look at me...."Mm" she chokes out. The stylist starts going into this talking frenzy about the chemicals she's already used to try to reduce the stain.

"Did you try soap and water?" The owner asks.

HAH. SOAP AND WATER?????? I was thinking more along the lines of harry potter potions to remove this MINOR mistake, but SOMEHOW an every day soap and water slipped my mind. And also my stylist's mind. She felt stupid for sure. She said she'd do that right after she cuts my hair.

"Nope. Now," says the boss (people no doubt hate this bitch).

And like a dog with its tail between its legs, my hair dresser retrieves soap and water.

4:45pm

Scrub. Scrub. Pause. Scrub. Scrub even harder. Let's just say that as I type this, my eyebrows are raw, peeling, red, and SO SO sensitive. I put baby oil on them. Why? I have no idea. Why not????

Every now and then she'd ask, am I scrubbing to hard? Does this hurt? Are you sensitive? I wanted to calmly scream, "WOMAN, I DON'T CARE IF YOU TAKE A CHAINSAW TO MY FACE, JUST FIX THE SITUATION."

But I refrained. Ok so after a solid 25-29 minutes of scrubbing the hell out of my eyebrows, she seems satisfied.

Which worries me. I mean as much as I enjoy the thick brow, I am no dang Audrey Hepburn, and cannot pull it off.

But at the same time, I was so tired of my pale, light brown/wanna be blonde eyebrows that are strikingly similar to this..

Any who.

By this point, the whole staff is involved. This is a confined salon, RATHER small. I was getting looks of pity and even confusion from everyone. A little girl was getting feathers put in her hair by a gay man, and she couldn't tell whether I wanted to look like a clown, or if it was a mistake. Poor thing. So easily impressionable at her tender age. Will probably go home and draw on her eyebrows now.

Oh and lets not forget the looks from the receptionist. You know, OH HONEY, you know, your problems are real when the receptionist wearing Ed Hardy is giving you looks of pity. That was my life today. The receptionist wearing Ed Hardy was giving me looks of pity.

Then we have the awkward young married couple, and even more awkward Dad with his 2 daughters. The girl getting her hair done next to me is also 20 years old. She is a nanny, is from Lubbock, and went to Trinity high school. Did I mention I'm a huge creep??? Slash ease dropper???? She says the words, "My husband" and I just think "Ohh laawwwwwwd" and she goes on and on. Then low and behold, HUBBY WALKS IN! Oh joy! He is in his construction gear. He walks in to the already over crowded, highly judgmental, environment. He sees my eyebrows before he sees the human that is myself under them.

And then.... the look of pity. The look of pity from the young married couple.

AS IF THE 5-YEAR OLD GIRL, AND TRANNY RECEPTIONIST WEREN'T ENOUGH.

And all while this is going on, a poor Dad is AWKWARDLY- EVER SO AWKWARDLY- blow drying his daughters hair???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?? Isn't that the gay guy's job? I'm so confused! Forget my eyebrows, we got a straight man doing hair in the building!

CHAOS. MADNESS. ANARCHY.

Moving on-, 4:58pm:

At this point, I am over my eyebrows. I am over my hair. I am over this dorm-room salon, young married couple, and metro-sexual father.

"How do you like your hair styled?"

ANYTHING I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE. "Blow dried and teased at the top."

...

5:10pm:

My hair is blow dried. My hair is short. I have a stunning resemblance to Brittany Murphy, pre Clueless Make-over (may she, and her eyebrows rest in peace).

"Your hair is doing a natural flip out thing in the front, is that okay?"

"Sure."

My hair is teased, straight, and flipped out at the bottom. I now look like Flo from the progressive commercial.

So whatever. Self confidence is over-rated anyway right? I proceed to go pay for my hair and try my hardest to exit building immediately. Ed Hardy girl rang me up at a whopping $120. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY AS IN ONE HUNDRED TWENTY DOLLARS OF UNITED STATES CURRENCY?????? I could have done what this bimbo did at my own house and effed up my own eye brows for only $10, but whatever. What-err.

This leads me to go therapy shopping.

The salon is conveniently located by a little area of fun shops. Next door, we have a lingerie boutique. It's actually fairly classy, and many brides register there. Thongs. Corsets. Awkward crotchless pantise. Okay, I've seen enough. Outgoing.

Next stop, is a well known LBK boutique. I found 2 things I wanted among a sea of sale items. Both of which were Sam Edelman shoes. Both of which were size 6. Both of which I tried my damndest to wedge my size 7-7.5 foot in. Fail. I also felt like I was in The Buckle, I was in there 13 minutes, and was asked if I wanted water 98 times. LEAVE ME ALONE I'M UGLY.

Proceeded to walk in and immediately out of a typical Lubbock-ized boutique, complete with bedazzled Miss Me jeans, Rhinestone cross purses complete with matching necklaces, jumbo pearl chokers and bedazzled EVERYTHING. My eyes hurt. I ran out. Me and my eyebrows, that is.

I drove along and ended up at Ross. This was supposed to be just a quick run through, since it had been months since my last (unsuccessful) Ross trip.

Two hours Later:

I found everything. Amazing heels, awesome finds in dresses, tops, most just $7.90 and the cutest undergarments for just $2.50!!!! I tried on item after item, and rang up over $100 worth of goods.

It was a little embarrassing?????? I never realized that I, a Chrome employee, could find so many must-haves at a place like Ross???? Who am I? Whatever. I wanted more than I could actually buy. #whitegirlproblems

For my next blog, (I promise it won't be a novel) I'm going to post my Ross purchases.

Until then, enjoy your normal eye brows.

xoxo

Blake The Great

“People ask me why I don’t tweet. Honestly, I’m so sick of myself.”

-Blake Lively

What to wear for: RUSH

Ahh, rush. That time of year when rushees walk around from house to house in the blazing heat, trying to make a good impression on each sorority, ignoring the fact they are sweating through their t-shirt. Due to nervousness? Heat? The immense presence of awkwardness when someone brings up their obsession for the Jonas Brothers? Regardless- It is hard to know what exactly is rush-appropriate.

Here is the low-down for rush clothes from what I found on the greek website:

Day 1: School spirit shirt

Day 2: Casual sundress or skirt and top

Day 3: Church Attire

Day 4: After 5 attire

First of all-- Who wrote those guidelines???? How exactly does church attire differ from "casual sundress/skirt and top"??? Doesn't church attire= choir robe?? Ok, ok, I'm being drastic. Let's talk about "after 5 attire"..... COCKTAIL HOUR!!!! Dress like you're going to a cocktail party!! Of course they can't use that term because it implies alcohol, which implies hazing, which is 60 kinds of illegal, which is never classy. At least we have day 1 figured out.

DAY 1:

My only advice here is to not get too crazy/creative with your outift. Ok, you're wearing the shirt they gave you, just like the hundreds of other rushees, I get that you want to "stand out" and "be different." But don't be that girl. The one that is trying sooo harrrd to stand out. Refrain from neon shoes (or neon anything, save that for foam parties). Refrain from over the top headbands, jewelry, shorts. Just look normal! You aren't going to impress anyone showing up with outrageous calf-length gladiators, and ostentatious bangles loaded up on each arm.

You'll be fabulous wearing your every day jewelry, some comfy denim or khaki shorts. I wore white shorts with my Tech Greek shirt as I recall.... That was a risky move on my part. I don't recommend it, but it is cute if you're determined to pull it off. Bring tide to go.

If you thrive on all the latest trends, then you'll probably be sporting colored denim. I work at chrome, and look like a tranny 90% of the time, so I'm not one to judge. If you want to work your hot pink J-brand denim shorts (which chrome sells) I will support your ass all the way to the chapter room when we talk about you. Ha.

Oh, and don't forget oil blotting face sheets. You will attract friends like crazy. And isn't that why you're rushing in the first place????

DAY 2:

Ahh, the "Casual sundress or skirt and top" day. I guess this description actually narrows things down pretty well. I mean you can pick 1 of 2 options. It's kind of hard to miss. The potential downfall rests in what you pick. I was lucky when I experienced rush. I had my older, wiser, more fashionably stable sister (who was also a Tech Kappa) to help me pick out clothes. When I say 'help me pick out clothes' I mean she completely picked them out and tabbed my mom's credit card. Needless to say, I looked good. For the second day, I wore a gray pencil skirt (not too tight- this is rush, not a 2nd date) and a decorative pink top, both from Banana Republic*

*I highly recommend the Banana Republic when it comes to rush.

Anyway, here are some ideas for day 2.

By Zara, $59.09

I like a good light pattern to make a sundress even more casual. This is a good one because it is conservative, and not too short. I would put a thin brown woven belt around this with some nice chunky wedges. Then simple everyday jewelry. NO STATEMENT JEWELRY ON THIS DAY, PLEASE.

Outfit by Banana Republic

This is another perfect day 2 option. A lovely sheer top paired with an a-line skirt paired with a bright bag. Bonus points for the side fish-tail braid!

If you want a more eye-catching outfit, girl I feel ya.

Dress by Piperlime, and only $59!

This bright, back slit, dress is still day 2 "sundress" appropriate, and still has personality. It's a best seller on the website! Just don't wear black tights and booties! Save that for fall. Bust out your brown heels, or nude wedges. You can never go wrong with nude wedges.

DAY 3:

The elusive "church" day. Ok. Panic not, I've found good items-hallelujah.

It's hard to see, so click here, but this rosette pencil skirt (by Banana) is SO classic. And I would say it's church appropriate, call me old fashioned. This would be perf with a simple but semi-dressy top like this one by Zara, $49.90. It also comes in green, but I suggest the navy.

Here is a dress option, also by Banana Republic. And since it's so simple, and it's "church" day, you can get away with a whopping pair of earrings, or a necklace. NOT both, ladies!!!

You can find good ones for cheapskies, like this lil baby from forevs.

The only other day 2 and on advice I have is, BRING FLATS. You're going to want to have something to change into walking between houses. Gold flats never fail.

DAY 4:

Yay! Cocktail day! So close to choosing the house that is "the one." Not to sound dramatic...

I wore a strapless fitted white cocktail dress with the greatest statement necklace ever made. I'm being so dead serious. The greatest. Statement. Necklace. Ever. Made. (Thank you sister. And mom's card." This is it....

TO DIE FOR???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I know.

So of course my first and foremost outfit option is a fabulous, solid-color, classic dress with a doozy necklace piece.

But then I came across this piece...

Click here for a better picture. Dress by Piperlime.

This is a beautiful day 4 dress. However, you may also want to get your hands on a parental unit's credit card, because this baby is $295. OH GET OVER IT- IT'S WORTH IT.

Since the dress says everything by itself, you don't need bod jewelry (you also can't afford bold jewelry now). But if you're like me, you'll probably don big earrings. Just keep them in the color family of gold-beige-nude-blush.

Here is another dress option, more edgy, more of a transition into fall dress.

Dress by Zara, and only $79.90

I'd like to see this dress with stunning black platform heels. Maybe something like these..

These stunners are by Bebe.

Okay ladies, that's all I have. I hope this helped decipher those vague descriptions. Good luck with the awkward moments!

Dress like the bachelorette

Our good friend Ashley, Bachelorette of season 7, had some trial and error when it came to judging one's character (hello bentley) but she did impress me with her choice of clothes from week to week. I wanted to recap my favs of her outfits and where us civilians/non-reality-tv-stars can buy them.

Let's talk about this little number she wore debuting her new public relationship on Jimmy Kimmel. This is a "Priscilla" open back lace Bodycon dress. Is it just me or is Ash OBSESSED with open back things?? So if you are as fond of your back as Ashely is, you can get this on freepeople.com for $268.

Here's lil Ash on the "Men Tell All" episode.

She loves her cut outs. What is her work out??!?!? I admire her ability to dress scandy but still come off as sweet and innocent as a 2nd grader. How do we feel about her darker hair???

And here we have the model version. You can get this dress, the "Cut out Scuba Dress" on Planetblue.

How cute was this ruffled off-the-shoulder get up, she wore while Ryan (or was it the West Texas cowboy?) awkwardly taught her how to golf.

You can find this Foley+Corinna romper on Planetblue, also.

My personal favorite hometown date outfit was JP's. It is the iconic perfect date outfit! Tight sexy jeans, cute-but conservative- top, and roller skates. Or heels. Whatever you're into.

This top is a "Studio Poplin Top" by Zara, just $39.99. Ash made a good decision by belting it..

And what about those jeans? Do you have to be bow-legged to look THAT cute roller skating in denim????

These are Rock & Republic "Kassaundra White R Detail" jeans.

Here is the dress she wore when she told the boys who hadn't left her yet, that they were going to Fiji.

I adore sequins, and I think she looks shiny and cute.

If you want to be shiny and cute like your favorite bachelorette, you can find this dress, an Alice + Olivia sequin "Kendra" dress, from one of my favorite websites, singer22.com. Well, it's sold out. Never mind. Evidently this was one of America's fav Ashley looks.

Moving on- Let's get serious. Ashley gets serious as she lets poor vulnerable Ben F. actually get down on one knee and say the unthinkable. Then that awkward moment when she doesn't say yes happens and he has to get up, and the rest of America is cringing, but still admiring her wedding dress. Or engagement dress? She chose a design by Randi Rham, weighing in at $17,000. She found it appropriate to go frolic around in the ocean wearing this dress, thus tarnishing it. Oh well. That is JP's problem now.

She did look great though! I'm not a big fan of spaghetti V-neck straps but.... whatever. It was only $17,000.

Okay bloggers, that's all I have for now!

PS-

BEN F FOR NEXT BACHELOR!!!!