That one time I pushed a girl at Mekong


I don't know, I'm going to mentally archive this blog as "Something I will regret posting later" but here we go.

So MEKONG 2012. The Frat party of the semester (as cliche as that sounds). I was excited as ever for this event, full of free alcohol, a huge "build," the ying yang twins (where is lil jon??? they don't come as a package deal?????) young joc, and might I reiterate, free alcohol. 

My friends (well the ones that I was able to keep track of up until that point) and I had just taken some fairly ratchet classy Party Time Mike photos and had made our way to a nice cozy little section in front of the stage. Cozy as in shoulder to shoulder with oh, 50 other people trying to be in the front rows. We were all waiting for the unidentifiable black rappers to make their way towards the stage when all of the sudden, I feel a significant shoulder bump. And again. And again.


Needless to say, I turned around and politely shouted, "OKAY YOU CAN STOP THAT NOW." I forget what shoulder-bumping-girl said to me, but it was less than sweet, I can imagine. What seemed like circa 17 minutes later, her friend in front of me told her to move forward, which would involve me moving backwards for them.... The shoulder-bumping-girl shouted back, quite blatantly, "THIS BITCH IN FRONT OF ME WON'T MOVE." woah, nelly. Name calling? OKAY. OH OH OKAY. But I didn't say anything I just smiled at her as big as I could, like, "DATS RYTE, I AIN'T MOVIN', YO."  But alas, this group of mean girls kept giving me the stink eye and just talking about me right in front of me, ugh, so I just stepped to the left and let the tranny walk in front of me. GAWD I'M SO NICE IT KILLS ME.....or have I spoken too soon????

What seemed like a good 9-14 minutes later, the mosh pit of drunk college students gets a little rowdy as we diligently wait for the rapperz, and I unintentionally bump into said group of mean girls. COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL. It was crowded and everyone was bumping everyone, like a sack of potatoes in the back of a pick up.

Then another gurl chimes in and says "Stop being rude to me and my friends, and stop pushing us, OH AND YOU COULD LOSE 40 POUNDS."



I was honestly so taken aback, my mouth just dropped to the floor. I stood there for at least 4 seconds before forming a response. Then I looked at the guy behind her, who had that "oh shit, that was a little harsh" look on his face and I said, "OUCH. Girls are so mean!!??? WHY ARE GIRLS SO MEAN?????" I drunkenly questioned the surrounding peers.

So I was about to let it slide. I stood there and let the situation sink in, and then oopsies, vodka sour number 83 of the night kicked in and had another idea. Suddenly I was ENRAGED. FUMING. SEEING RED. FILLED WITH RAGE. not my finest hour.

After vodka sour number 83 kicked in, my inner black diva decided to make a visit. I immediately thought to myself, "OHHH HAAAYYLLLEE NO I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET THIS WHITE GIRL GET AWAY WITH THAT."

Thus..... I looked at her with eyes of fire and said verbatim, "You thought I was pushing you before? I WILL SHOW YOU PUSHING."

THEN with every fiber of my being, I pushed her with the force of ten thousand waterfalls. Being this was a crowded area, I incidentally caused, oh, 6-8 other surrounding people to fall over. AM I SORRY????? NAH.

Then all the boys, Delta Tau Deltas, around said, "Okay you have go to leave, you need to go," and hello. hello. hi. who am i. uh uh. no no no no. AINT GON' HAPPEN.

I literally just stood there, and thought, hmmmm what would jesus do??

And then it occurred to me:

So that's what I did. AND LET ME JUST TELL YOU, NO ONE MESSED WIFF ME FOR THA REST OF DA NIGHT. DADDY WOULD BEEN PROUD i think yikes idk maybe yikes hmmm.

Finally, I just left. I left the mosh pit. I decided shedding soft tearz would be more fun so lololol I enjoyed myself a good solid drunk girl cry and called it a night, more or less.


I am NOT that girl!!! I have NEVER been the girl that gets in fights with other girls and gets involved with drama like that! WHAT WAS THAT??? So embarrassed how that transpired. If I hadn't ingested so much liquids #vodka, I know I wouldn't have let that snide comment get to me. But as I have learned the hard way, time and time again, SH*T GETS EMOTIONAL AFTER THE 87TH VODKA SOUR. Another point I'd like to make is: WHAT KIND OF PERSON TELLS A STRANGER THAT/?????? I am shocked. Girls really are so mean. It is amazing (in a bad way) to me the damage that the tongue can do. I know the Bible quotes it somewhere, in so many words, how the tongue is the most dangerous or deadliest body part. It is so true!!! People need to check theyselves before they wreck theyselves. The whole situation made me realize how important it is to watch what I say to people. Because once you say something, it's out there forever. Whether you meant it or not. People can forgive, but it is hard to forget the sting of painful words, no matter how ridiculous they are. GAWD I HATE GETTING SENTIMENTAL, but in conclusion, watch what you say. Especially to girls/women. All of us are fragile insecure creatures that think we are trolls deep down, SO DON'T ADD FUEL TO THAT FIRE.

As MIA would say, "watch yo' mouf, yo"


  1. you are my hero.

  2. if your going to make a blog about us, at least make sure you tell the truth. and you didnt smile at me today, you put your head down like a pu$$y and looked away. ANNNNND you pushed us intentionally without even giving a shit with your 40 pound over weight ass. GLAD you had to leave because we had a great time once you left you stupid FUCKING bitch. I'm happy it made such a huge impact on your life that you had to take the time to make a goddamn blog about this situation where you made a fool out of yourrrself. Dont talk a hard game then when we see you in public.. act scared. YOU RACHET ASS BITCH.

    1. You're dumb. See what I did there...."you're" not "your."

    2. College sure hasn't taught you how to spell. If you want to post rude comments on someone's blog then at least have the balls to put your name.

  3. Only a true "rachet ass bitch" would mispell RATCHET, use "pu$$y" and use the wrong your in the same comment. Proofread girl, PROOFREAD.

  4. I'm GLAD that it made such a huge impact on the girls life that she took the time to respond. Team Augusta ! Also, your funny blogs make my day.

  5. HAHAHA AUGUSTA NEAL FOR PRESIDENT. This reminds me of a song, the song off just dance for Wii that says.. "BIG GIRLS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" As my momma would say, girls are just mean when they have low self esteem. LOL
    Aka chels nolen<3

  6. SHE BLOGGED ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE'S FUNNY AS SHIT YOU DUMB BROAD. You responding anonymously is mind blowing. At least let everyone know you're the rude girl who talks shit about a persons weight.
    Patti Kabobel

  7. I was with augusta and trust me sweetheart... no one is scared of your pigeon head ass. According to your standards, together we got probably got an extra 80 pounds on you so maybe YOU should backup and put YOUR head down YOU MOUTHY LITTLE BITCH. No one is making a fool of their self quite like you are right now, if you want to vent go make your own blog post about it cause lets be real, no one here gives a shit what YOU have to say.
    Have a blessed evening <3,
    Shawndell Roberts

  8. Augusta- i love you, your wonderfully crazy life stories and of course your blog. Usually when people say mean things they are really insecurities they have about themselves (thank you psych 101) so homegurl prob needs to lose 40LBS NOT YOU!!! And she also needs some spelling and grammar lessons as well.. obiv. the whole "your" "you're" thing is a big pet peeve of mine. MISS YOU!

  9. plz let me punch her


  10. This is my new favorite website. -Grand Master

  11. Augusta Neal- You are awesome. That girl who wrote that nasty comment above is a real class-act. She sounds like the Kate Middelton of Texas Tech. She also has a vocabulary of a dock worker.

    Keep up the good work, Gus. All of us are very proud of your travels, writings, internships, fun stories etc etc. You are perfect, little pretty!

  12. I agree with Mary! Girls that act and speak that way give other girls a bad name.

    "Don't talk a hard game then when we see you in public.. act scared. YOU RACHET ASS BITCH." Is that a joke? Who talks like that? And don't even get me started on the grammar. Maybe if she wasn't fuming mad she would have had the time to spell check. Anger is a terrible look, honey. It only makes you look like the weaker one. And stop cussing. It's not appealing, it's degrading. Act like a lady. You are a cyber bully and that is a not something to take lightly. People struggle every day because of people like YOU. You are a disgrace to our society. Look in the mirror and get a grip.

    Augusta, you don't need to lose 40 pounds. You are perfect the way you are. I think you look fantastic. Classy, funny, beautiful, smart....don't ever let anyone tell you differently because YOU are amazing!

  13. WOW. anyone who uses the terms "pu$$y" and "rachet ass bitch" (what IS that btw?) is SURE to go far in life. the notion that you need to lose 40 pounds is hilarious and completely untrue. the above comment by "anonymous" is also hilarious. who talks shit on a blog?? "act scared" PLEASE. it's just funny. my gosh, you were at a frat party. anyone that has to be mean and completely classless at a frat party is just sad. Gus, you keep on being awesome and don't worry about girls like "anonymous" above!!!

  14. Upon reading Augusta's blog, I believe her motivation was to remind all of us not to let our anger take our actions or our words to the point where we might say or do something we will regret. She admitted she was not happy about her response to your hurtful words, and that we should all try a little bit harder to be kind to one another, especially to other women. There is enough adversity for all of us out there in the world, which should leave no room for us to create more for each other. Admitting you made a mistake is very adult, perpetuating an altercation is childish. I implore you, dear Anonymous, to think before you speak next time you should choose to do so. Not only will that prevent others from suffering the consequences of your distasteful words, but it will also save you from a future full of regret.

  15. sounds like Sensitive Sally up there is a little on edge about being bumped into at a RAP concert. in a FRAT house. with FREE alcohol. can't wait to see what she's like in a club. watch out everyone, MAKE SURE YOU PURGE BEFORE YOU GET NEAR HER.


  16. Augusta, this post was fantastic. I don't know how that other girl has friends.



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