Shops With Lipstick


I will now be selling fings* on my blog!!! I've seen other bloggers do this for quite some time, but have never felt the need to do so. Until I had to move into my roommate's closet the other day due to the overflow of clothes from my drawers and closet. Madness. Chaos. Anarchy.

So get out your wallets and get ready to be dazzled by the items I am willing to discard from my overbearing closet. And while I'm at it, I am going to start posting up great vintage items from my favorite New Mexico antique stores that I find all the time, but really have no reason to own. AKA one time I found this insane tribal print maxi skirt with a tag that I SWEAR was an old brand (as in, not something someone dumped from a Forever21... because let's be real here, is there a Forever21 in New Mexico??? Or electricity for that matter????????), but I couldn't squeeze myself into it. Soooooooooooo if I see a "MUST HAVE" item, I'll snatch it up and pop it on my blog.

Can't wait!!!

*fings, noun meaning "things" spoken in a dialect commonly seen on the Bridesmaids movie by the fat blonde roommate with the mexican drinking worm tattoo.


Tina Fey & Kale Chips

Two things: weird health foods I find on Pinterest and a last minute audiobook purchase for a road trip. 

Everyone has GOT to read Tina Fey's Bossypants. IT IS SO FUNNY. I think women will enjoy it more than men, just like women liked Bridesmaids more than men. She talks about having lesbian friends growing up, what it's like working with SNL and not being able to do decent impressions (until Sarah Palin came along), and hilarious stories of motherhood. The book is read in her voice and she even plays an SNL clip. I was laughing the whole car ride home!

Then we have kale chips. Totally not a common purchase on my end of the check out line. BUT.... I made myself buy them last week, not knowing what I would actually do with them. Then I stumbled across a striking picture on pinterest (story of my life), describing these healthy kale chips as SALTY, CRISPY, AND OILY. Nothing can go wrong with those 3 words. So tonight, after cooking a healthy yet unsatisfying dinner, I decided I would rather bake green leafy vegetables than study research methods. 

How to make 'em...
  • Peel the leafy part away from the stem. 
  • Layer them flatly on a cookie sheet (I lined it with foil, but the recipe recommends parchment paper).
  • Drizzle olive oil all over them. 
  • Sprinkle sea salt all over them.
  • Flip.
  • Repeat.
  • Make sure most of them aren't touching, then pop them in the oven for 20 minutes on 300.

Instagram Obsession

On many occasions throughout the day I can be found somewhere alone in a public setting, snapping pictures of something stupid with my iPhone. This is commonly known as instagram, and even more commonly known as "that idiot who thinks he/she is a photographer." I am that idiot.

*walks across campus* "Ooooo a tree with no leaves!" *whips out iPhone*
*driving along 19th* "Ooooo pity sunset!" *snaps pic of sunset, swerving*
*cleans room* "Well, this will never happen again." *takes a picture*

Here are some of my recent instagrams...

The only downside of instagram is that it has disturbingly turned me into one of those people that takes pictures of their eyes. #nerdy #badselfportraits

Feel free to be obsessed with me, @sassy_neal


Giuliana is rad.

Is anyone else becoming more and more obsessed with G every week? I can't decide if this is subconscious sympathy for her double mastectomy or the fact that I always agree with her Fashion Police opinions. But either way I found myself following her on Twitter tonight, and oh I'm not done, then I actually tweeted her. I told her she looked fabulous on E! news tonight. I have no idea who I think I am.

G can pull off wearing a sparkly New Years Eve top on a Tuesday afternoon
G can pull off any hair part, boobs or not
G can wear Gumby colors and still look ~chic~
Only G can handle having snakes wrapped around her while not wearing pants and make it all look effortless

You go, G. I'll be Tweeting you again soon.


How To Be Hit On By Ugly Dudes

There are many things I am not what you would call an “expert” at. Things like 5th grade addition/subtraction, remembering to take your clothes out of the dryer (and washer), or even things like distinguishing the third floor from the fourth floor in the parking garage. 
But being hit on by gremlins is my specialty.

This blog post is especially perfect for those of you who are in things, generation Y likes to call “Facebook official relationships” AKA you have a significant other and his/her name is listed right under your face on your profile, serving as both a personal and public reminder that you:
A) May not “like” other hot peoples’ profile pictures
B) Must not accept friend requests from suspiciously hot strangers and 
C) Must accept that the day you two break up is the worst day of your “went from In A Relationship to Single” life.

What I’m getting at is, if you are in a serious relationship, but still like to get the acceptance of being hit on by hot strangers, then reading this post and applying it to your life can leave to an ever-lasting relationship. Or at least to something that will last longer than 72 days. I’m talking to YOU, Kim Kardashian.
Because after you read this article, you will master the uncommonly known art of “Being hit on by ugly dudes.” And when you’re too busy being hit on by molerats, then you are not hit on by college athletes and ultimately you never want to cheat on your ball and chain. Kapish? How the ef do you spell kapish????

1) Cut in line.
I have first-hand experience in the arts of cutting 30 ft in line and not getting shot. When a line is long, you don’t want to stand in it. So all you have to do is walk to a comfortable spot closer to the entrance and simply yell, “FRANK!!!!!!!!!!! OH. MY. GAWD. FRANK, HOW THE HECK ARE YOU?!?!?!?!!?!?!? IT’S BEEN TOO LONG!!! HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, WHAT A SMALL WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” First of all, I’m kind of like a Golden Globes winning actress type person, so if you just act as stupid as possible, the victim will believe you and actually think you went to high school together for the first 4 seconds of the performance. After 4 seconds, it helps out a lot if you are under the influence of Everclear. Then you can at least have a reason to pursue the next potentially awkward 8 minutes that you’ll be in line with Frank.

B) Rap.
In those 8 minutes you’re in line with Frank, go ahead and turn your acting performance into a concert (I know I’m multi-talented). Just turn on music in your mind, drop tha beatz, and lay down the lyrics. My personal rap song of choice will remain unspoken because I still don’t have an internship/job/career path/future and you NeVeR KnOw WhO Is ReAdInG Ur BLog. Let’s just say it’s on the greatest hits album of the late and great NOROTIOUS B. I. G.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After your grammy award winning performance of “White Sorority Girl Gone Obese Dead Black Rapper” you will be sure to capture the hearts of all the trolls within a 20 ft vicinity.

Twa) Be Not Available.
This is really when the bait catches the fish. Any normal person with a functioning brain knows that when a girl is texting during a song, has her feet up on the chair in front of her, and looks like she just jumped in a pool because she is sweating so much from dancing through the last 14 songs, THAT GIRL DOES NOT WANT TO BE BOTHERED, for lack of better words. That girl CLEARLY just wants to sit there and text whoever it is that is worth drunk-texting at 1:30 AM. LEAVE A SISTA BE. Any self-respecting, normal, hot, tall, dark, and handsome-first-string quarterback knows this. Who doesn’t know this you ask? The undesirables. So right before you touch “send” on your iPhone, just expect there to be a creepy snaggletooth middle school drop out to be standing over you drooling. It is in that moment you will be asked to dance. Yes, precisely at that moment.

Four) Say “yes” to the hot tranny-mess.
Say yes. DON’T BE A RUDE STUCK UP B WORD!!! After all you worked so hard to get this far for a hot mess to hit on you (ask you to dance, blah blah blah, same thing). I just have this personal mental block about girls thinking they are too good and say no to a poor feller who worked up the courage to ask a stranger to dance. (unless it’s your friend, or a pity invite from a friend’s friend, THEN FEEL FREE TO “NO” THE CRAP OUT OF THEM IF YOU SO DESIRE). Anyways anywhos. So after having the most awkward/worst/wish-God-would-smite-you type dance, you have almost concluded your lesson. Especially if the dance is one of those things when you’re not sure if he is two stepping or just slowly walking through the dance floor while holding your hands in two-step position. Not saying that has happened to me. Not saying it hasn’t. All I’m saying is if snaggletooth tries to spin you, but it’s like a 4-armed-slow-train-wreck, then you are doing everything right. If he is spinning you and you feel like you are in a slow-mo version of Mary Poppins, then you are an expert like myself*

*I just want to jump on a quick soap box. MEN: WHEN YOU ARE TWO-STEPPING WITH A GIRL, just know that they don’t want you to be Mr. Wouldn’t Hurt A Fly. Gurlz don’t want to dance with a delicate flower boy. So next time you are spinning your lass on the dance floor, FREAKING BREAK HER ARMWHEN YOU ARE SPINNING HER AROUND, IT BETTER BE LIKE HURRICANE KATRINA UP IN THIS B. MAKE THAT FAKE ASS HAIR EXTENSION FLY OUT. GURL BE A RAGDOLL. Because that is what makes Texas two-stepping so much fun: violence J

Being that this blog is over a 1000 words at this point, I think it is officially proven that I and those few of you who read this far, DON’T HAVE LIVES. But you know what we do have???? 
Gremlins asking for our numbers J. Trolls requesting us on Facebook J 
And absolutely no temptations to cheat on our Facebook Official relationships J 

No need to thank me.….. NOW GO GET ‘EM TIGER! 


This Week's Obsession: "Lipstick" Maxi Dress

I cannot get enough of asymmetrical dresses and skirts. I'm partial to this one because it's bright pink and well it's called "Lipstick"!! I see this dress paired with a blazer and chucky necklace for a fun girl's night out. I am attending a baby shower in Dallas next month so I am on the hunt for an appropriate outfit for that. This dress is not it, but I'll keep you posted.

I'm also not over the whole Red/Fuschia color trend, so with that said I would faithfully wear bright red lipstick with this hot pink lil diddy.


It's my party, I'll pastel if I want to


I've really been drawn to pastels lately. Most likely because I don't own any. And don't we all covet what we don't have?? It could also be because I am watching Golden Girls and am surrounded by old women in creamy colored silk night gowns.



3 Finds

Sorry about my lack of blogging, huge fan base (hi sister and two friends). I am back to school and the internet in my apartment is TERRIBLE. The other day I started a blog about my favorites from the Golden Globes but the internet was so bad, the Irish blood in me started boiling and I couldn't find the patience within to continue. Maybe I'll get that up at some point in time. Anyways. On this lazy Saturday, after having a minor ordeal getting my keys locked in my car at the gym, I find myself on my computer drowning in a world of fashion blogs and Pinterest. I just wanted to share a few things I found including Jenna Marbles' diet, a new blog obsession, here and there's and whatnots.

1. <new blog obsession>
I found this blog through another blog, and it's all downhill from there. This girl is 8 kinds of interesting. I like her opinions, especially those about trends she is excited for in 2012, and those that she is glad are gone. I also love how she calls the "sock bun" the "blogger bun."
Click this pic to read about trends she is looking forward to--READ IT!!
Click this pic to see trends she is glad to see go.. definitely will inspire a closet clean out!!!

This blog in general is just great inspiration. She has had it for about 3 years and said it is finally where she wants it to be. Maybe my blog will magically be cool in 3 years? Maybe.... I also cannot stress enough how I urge all of you to read her posts about trends^^^^^^that conveniently put up there for you to click^^^^^^.

2. <vegan diet>
Jenna Marbles

I just think it is interesting to find out what people eat. I 'm one of those weird people. Thanks pinterest. And no I am by no means considering going vegan. GAWD no. LAWD no. This diva needs her chicken. And shrimp. And tacos. And cheese. I just keep happening to stumble upon vegan crap??

Which brings me to.....

Lookbook Cookbook

This blog is centered around fashion and vegan food. Yet I am mostly drawn to the pictures of models eating, thinking, "Oh yeah, that is exactly what I look like eating spinach cheesecake in a sheer top." Really though, It is interesting because have you ever heard of a vegan fashion blog???? Not I. Consider it added to my "Blogs I heart" Pinterest board. And my bloglovin list. Oh and my blogger following list.

3. <2012 Color Trends>

Click one of ze pics and read this article by Refinery29. I always have my eyes out for any article that says "TREND" in big letters. I'm all over that. I'm 20 after all. R29 absolutely never fails me in trend blogs. I recommend you take a glance at their predictions for what will be huge in 2012.

Well I hope everyone is having a great weekend!!!
Time to go nap, read more blogs, and eat  do homework and clean...


How To Wear Bra Tops

How to wear BRA TOPS

Bra tops, people. You read correctly. This trend thrived on Spring '12 runways, and you best believe it will only continue to get more popular. Don't be scared of the bra top. Bra top is your friend as long as you pair it with the right things. I'm sure there are many girls out there who disagree with me, but I believe they should always be worn with high-waisted bottoms. If you want to up the conservative factor, then layer a blazer, cropped jacket, or chiffon flyaway cardi over the bra top. This trend is perfect for the spring break and hot weather in the summer WOO WOO!


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