12.13.2012

What I learned the first semester of my last year in college

Just this morning, my EMC (website design class) professor posted on our Facebook class wall announcing our grades have been submitted (BY THE WAY, DREW, I'D RLY LIKE DAT B+ TO GO AHEAD AND BE BUMPED TO A MODEST A-, I KNOW WHERE YOUR OFFICE IS) and that he hopes we at least learned 3 things in his class. Which got me to thinking.... what DID I learn in this class???? In this semester???? IN THIS LIFE??????????????

In class, I would say I learned how to pretty much whip up any code, as I be havin dat <HTML>  memorized like it's my name. 2) I learned that you have to ATTACH/CONNECT the external style sheet to your html doc #websitejargon AND THAT IT DOES NOT HAPPEN AUTOMATICALLY. Also learned that THERE ARE 2489389234 WEBSITES OUT THERE THAT WILL MAKE YOU A FREE WEBSITE AND DO ALL THE LAYOUT CRAP FOR YOU. TEXT WRANGLER AND DREAMWEAVER ARE HIGHLY UNNECESSARY AMMIRITE?????? whtvr. 

The third thing I learned is to always have a "LOL" worthy joke on hand. Because at the end of every really rude pop quiz there would be bonus questions something to the effect of "if i laugh at this joke you get two extra points" Needless to say, a lot of my quiz grades were just those two points because OBVZ I'm always having something extremely hilarious up my trendy sleeve and obvz I wasn't prepared for rude pop quizes because I'm too busy blogging and tweeting and else important activities than studying code on my free time but whtvr. He laughed at them all except that one time I threw in a joke about the Beibs (justin beiber duh) and Drew CLAIMS he didn't laugh.... plz....

WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY ORIGINAL POINT OF WRITING THIS BLOG WHEN I REALLY SHOULD BE INTERVIEWING PEOPLE FOR LA VENTANA BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT LATER...

Here is where Augusta (21 year-old sorority girl living in Lubbock, TX, obsessed with pugs, babies, and vodka cranberries coffee)  lists what she learned in the fall of 2012. 


  1. AP Style writing is rude and I'm not good at it. Like #realtalk I wrote a story for the yearbook this year about first Friday art trail, and I do NOT think it is stretching it to say that I highly doubt they can even use the article. It is THAT bad. LOL. LOL. I learned that while I'm decent at writing, I am a huge personality that is hard to contain in the bland straight-forward style of AP. I BET CARRIE BRADSHAW ALSO HATED AP STYLE. But it's a learning experience and follow your dreams and skies the limit and live laugh love and all those other cliches so yolo. 
  2. HOW THE HELL DOES ETHERNET WORK. I spend circa $11 at the local Wal-Mart buying an ethernet work, go home plug that sh*t in the wall and laptop, WAIT PATIENTLY FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN and nothing. Internet still sucks. RLY DOE SOME1 COME OVR AND HELP A GURL OUT
  3. So that wasn't a learning experience I just really want someone to fix my ethernet
  4. I'll probably call that really hot guy from ExpertTech over, does he offer that service???????
  5. I am at least 2390238904 x hotter as a blonde. 
  6. Like, I mean, not to sound conceited, BUT WHEN YOU SPEND TWENTY YEARS OF YOUR LIFE LOOKING LIKE THIS
    E YOU ARE ALLOWED TO GET A LITTLE COCKY  WHEN YOU TURN TWENTY ONE AND YOUR HAIR IS BLONDER AND YOU WAKE UP AND YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND YOU REALIZE, DAMN, I'M LIKE KIND OF A FOX.
I MEAN AMMIRITE???????? SOLID IMPROVEMENT??????  
    Sorry about the horrid quality, dark, and blurriness of the above and might I add current picture of myself, but while I may look better with blonde hair, I also look a HELLUVA lot better in darker, fuzzier, blurrier, pictures, after a few drinks in your blood system okay okay. 
    Which brings me to my next learning experience of the semester. 
    6. Fake hair so awesome I really want to use expletives but I won't because I know this blog reaches the sensitive older and younger demographics. Really though I have a discount card to Sally's and that's only because it costs an arm and a leg to buy 18" human hair that clips ever so easily and naturally into your own. I def be having the extensions popped in there in the above picture. BUT YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT UNTIL I TOLD YOU, YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL REAL. I. love. extensions. 
    I mean, I washed them today, won't lie, I felt more ghetto than I've probably ever felt in my life "washin muh weave" and believe me, THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING AS I DID ONCE TAKE A STROLL/DRUNKEN PRANCE THROUGH KONGS IN THE DEPOT DISTRICT.
    7. I probably have no shame and one day I am going to embarrass my poor future children. 
Indian swag inside of Cricket's thanks to SAE on the rocks, or #SAEOTR if you're a tweeter
Here we have the improvised Devil costume, also in Crickets, weekend before Halloween. I should mention NO ONE ELSE GOT THE MEMO THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DRESS UP IN A COSTUME TO THE BARS so sometimes you just gotta sport a costume by yourself sometimes you gotta boogie, as a dear friend of mine would say.

Last but certainly not least, Elf costume inside of PM. I'm sorry, but  if you can't make a party out of an elf costume and a little yoga dance moves in a public setting, then hope for you, there is not.



8. Though I may have no shame, it will one day lead me to my 2nd dream job of being the "Jay walker" on a late night talk show, where I get followed by a camera on the streets and ask strangers obscene questions. 


"WILL YOU HAVE SEX WITH THIS WOMAN?????????"


A'La Julian McCullough on Whitney Cummings' talk show, Love You, Mean it. Julian literally walked around a busy street and asked strangers, or rather, HARASSED strangers holding a picture of Whitney, and yelled, "WILL YOU  HAVE SEX WITH HER???????" It was hysterical. It was his attempt at finding her a boyfriend. 

So, in conclusion of #8, I would like to be the sidekick of a talk show and verbally harass passerbys. "Street interviews" as the professionals call it. 

This video of Billy Eichner street interviewing is my inspiration in life. It. Is. Hilarious. Plz just watch it. I can barely breathe laughing so hard when I watch it. 
http://teamcoco.com/video/billy-eichner-israel

That's all I got for now I desperately need to be productive the rest of the day bye. 



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