6.02.2013

The Anatomy of Buyer's Remorse

I am not one for buyer's remorse. That's usually my sister.
Tis a rare day I purchase an item and regret it with deep pain and sorrow.

Until now.

I did something really, excuse my choice of diction but, RETARDED, recently. I laid awake last night thinking about how stupid I was for such an action. It's bothered me all day. I have guilt and sorrow about it. Deep regret or guilt as is described above.

I BOUGHT AN IPHONE CASE THAT I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE THAT MUCH.

Ugh, it all started when I was in the Lubbock mall (the start of most ratchet stories) shopping for vacuum bags (so domestic I am) at Sears, when I realized I should just go ahead and buy an iPhone case while I'm there. At one of those ratchet ghetto little middle-of-the-mall kiosks.

WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS OKAY??????????? HAVE I EVER READ A VOGUE BEFORE?????? DO I SERIOUSLY CONSIDER BLAIRE EADIE A FASHION IDOL?????? WHY WOULD I BUY A MALL-KIOSK IPHONE CASE????????????????????? DO I ALSO WEAR BABY PHAT SNEAKERS OR BOBS BY SKETCHERS????????????????????

Ugh. I spent $30 on an UNGODLY white/purple mess of an iphone case. It's not ugly, it's not harsh-judgement inducing, I can frolic in public with it and not feel like an outcast, but like...... it's not the epitome of my soul. It says nothing about my personality. It's not even a brand. THE BRAND IS LUBBOCK MALL.

Before you question my dramatic reaction, just think about it. IPHONE CASES SAY A LOT ABOUT A PERSON. The girl with a pink leopard/jeweled iphone case probably watches Bad Girls Club and drinks 4 loco when she day drinks. The girl with a Kate Spade iphone case probably watches Desiree on The Bachelorette every Monday night, while eating hummus, fine cheeses and a moderately prices red wine. RIGHT????????????? YOU KNOW THIS IS ACCURATE.

So when I'm out and about, people see my white and wanna-be lilac iphone case and probably think, "yeah that girl stays home on saturday nights and vines/tweets alone in her bedroom."

DESPITE THE FACT THAT SAID STATEMENT IS POSITIVELY ACCURATE, I DON'T NECESSARILY NEED MY IPHONE CASE TO REPRESENT THAT FACT ABOUT ME. BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE I DID THAT LAST NIGHT OR ANYTHING. #daydrinking #barcrawls #firstweekendindallas

Bottom line, moral of the story, the crumble to the cookie, I just wish I hadn't last-minute bought a random iPhone case in the Lubbock mall. I should have THOUGHT THIS DECISION OUT.

Here are iPhone cases I should have considered in my decision making process:

iPHone cases to die for


Kate Spade / Diane Von Furstenberg / Rebecca Minkoff / Kate Spade / Marc by Marc Jacobs blackberry smartphone, $38 / Rebecca Minkoff / Kate Spade / J.Crew j crew / J.Crew j crew / Kate Spade / Kate Spade


So there you have it. I would love to have any of these cases. Unfortunately, I'll be cruising around with my basic b*tch case for a while.

4 my ghetto gurlz out derr 
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