Lately, (the past 20 years) I've been experiencing this thing called "Weird face days" or weird body days.
You know some days you look in the mirror in the morning and you're just like, oh lawd, but it's just early and you know you'll look moderately normal in the afternoon, but then you don't, you still look troll-ish, and you think to yourself, I didn't even go out last night, and then the sun goes down, and you still have that groggy I-just-got-out-of-bed-and-am-hideous appeal, even in full make up.
Am I the only one that undergoes this trauma? Whatever.
So lately I've been attempting anything to resolve the situation. Thus my latest obsesh is fake eye lashes. They are cheap, extremely hard to put on, and make you feel like Kim Kardashian.
My first attempt was a funny joke, I put them on, but could not get the inner or outer corners to stick to save my life... but don't worry. I went on with life, and on with my night, and if you can't see it in the pictures and are surrounded by drunk people, then no biggie!!!
My next experience was more successful. I only had 1 eye that wouldn't stick on the inner and outer corners. Yet this time I was in broad day light surrounded by civilians so I'm sure it was noticeable to the observant naked eye.
Yesterday is another story. I used fake eye lashes from Forever21 because they're cheaper than Walgreens lashes. But the glue that comes with the lashes is not of this world. It is probably the same glue that the military uses. Needless to say I struggled, and had my right eyelids stuck together at one point. Once I got it right, it was perfect! They stayed put all day, even the ends. And then bed time came. circa 4 am. And it was time to take them off. Ha. Cute. It was not easy. I got them off, it only took 30 minutes, a sore arm, and a few of my own ripped off eye lashes. Then, because I was too tired to wash my face, the morning after, left over, eye lash glue was a really beautiful sight. I'll leave that one for your imagination. But it was the best glue I've used! So the aftermath is just a worthy sacrifice.
The other roadblock on my path to beauty lately is my hair. The last time I got my hair done was a notable event, and if you haven't read about it then do so NOW CLICK HERE. In that appointment, the lady also managed to ruin my hair. The right side is significantly shorter than the left in the front. And it's not cute. It's weird. And I'm just over my short hair in general. Wish I had my long hair hair. This leads me to extensions. I did some online researching, and went to Sally's today and looked at some clip ins. Of course the good ones are over 100. There are other ones that are just as good except you have to "put the clips in yourself" which involves sewing the clips to the hair pieces. LET'S JUST SAY CLOTHING CONSTRUCTION WASN'T MY FORTE'. So after 45 minutes of annoying the crap out of the Sally's workers and pondering my options, I decided against them.
But still want them. $100 worth of human hair? Pfff, sacrifices.
After debating on how long of extensions I could get, I finally decided. There are 14", 18", and even 24". But I finally decided on... 200". I just really want to look like this chick....>>>
I can tell she is a "go big or go home" type.
This blog calls for Lady Gaga. Because she takes more beauty sacrifices than anyone I know. I mean, did you watch the VMAs? She was a man. Sacrifices, people. And go watch the You and I video. $hIt is real.