Let's start with the armless girl.
I don't remember her name, but you know who I'm talking about. She is a very sweet, mild, timid soul, who apparently "didn't have enough excitement and adventure" with her last boyfriend. I thought it was KeWL of Sean to take her out on the first date....HOWEVER. I just feel like the armless girl has a leg up on the competition (lol see what I did there) because she immediately wins the sympathy card whether she likes it or not. He gave her rose, gave America what they wanted to see, because if he didn't, he would forever be the ass hole that didn't give the armless girl a rose.
FOR THE RECORD, FUTURE BAD DATES AHEAD, DO NOT TAKE ME BUILDING JUMPING ON A FIRST DATE. OR A 897482379TH DATE.
I just googled her, and her name is Sarah.
Jackie.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE, SEAN DOESN'T CARE AND WANTS TO TAKE DESIREE ON A DATE!!! BLOW YOUR CANDLES!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOES HE KNOW YOU EXIST WHO KNOWS HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Desiree.
Desiree--THE GIRL THAT BROKE A 1.5 MILLION DOLLAR PIECE OF ART LOLOLOL SO HILARIOUS not. that was the dumbest prank I've ever seen. I think she knew it was a joke the whole time because that was NOT a normal reaction. STICK TO HOSTING CHRIS, LET ASHTON KUTCHER PULL THE PRANKS, OKAY????
BY THE WAY, DES, YOUR BANGS ARE REALLY COOL....................................................
"You have every quality that I'm looking for." -Sean
WELL GO AHEAD AND SCRATCH BANGS OFF YOUR LIST, YOU GOT EM.
Said Sean, "She's not afraid to be goofy or sarcastic or laugh at herself and it's just really attractive." WELL SH!T SEAN. I'M YOUR DREAM GIRL MINUS BAD BANGS.
Kristy.
My articulated feelings on Kristy: SKLJDFSJIO3R22R8990438U9589 [ITERO OIG JERW@##%^$&*(&^%$#@JH<#$%^&*()&^%$#NBH0FOKQ$%&^*(PIO67782IHGREI!@$%^&*(.L;#$%8460345853489054hjdfnjkdf89toui&*^8943io34tioperti9ertimo[eioqt;mu3490342980823490%^&*()YGB(*%$EDFHJI*&^%RFGBMKLO(*&^%RFGHJKLDEW#$%^&*(OP:L<MNG.
SOMEONE FEED THE TRANSGENDER MODEL AND THEN THROW HER OUT. she is too obsessed with herself, i can't i can't i cant I CAN'T.
Voldemort.
Ok... I get that she's not there to "make friends." I get that she is there to "WIN OVER SEAN." I GET IT, I REALLY DO. But like.... there comes a point when you're in the house acting like a dementor and it just begs the question, "DO YOU HAVE A SOUL, TIERRA????????" you don't have to be their bridesmaids, BUT I MEAN, YOU COULD PRETEND THEY EXIST. THEY ARE JUST GIRLS IN THIS WORLD TRYING TO GET BY.
ALSO TIERRA YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF STYLE I'M DONE.
Helena Bonham Carter.
Kate, the yoga teacher, "didn't feel right in this setting" and "couldn't handle the environment." Well, Kate the yoga teacher, WE ARE SORRY THAT THE BACHELOR ISN'T FILLED WITH LAVENDER AND ROSEMARY BEAN BAGS FOR YOUR EYES, OR DIM LIGHTING FILLED WITH DOWNWARD DOGS AND WARRIOR POSES. WE ARE SORRY IT'S NOT 80 DEGREES IN THE ROOM. YOU'LL HAVE TO GO BACK HOME IF YOU WANT TO MEDITATE BECAUSE IT'S NOT HAPPENING WITH 24 OTHER GIRLS IN THE ROOM.
**my sister was the original funny person who pointed out the Helena resemblance, DON'T CREDIT YOUR LAUGHTER TO ME.
**my sister was the original funny person who pointed out the Helena resemblance, DON'T CREDIT YOUR LAUGHTER TO ME.
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| there she is, leaving the mansion. Byyyyyeeeeee kaatteee, namaste |
Lesley.
OHHH SNAP AND A HALF!!!!! LESLEY THE ASS MAN, LOOK AT YOU, AT IT AGAIN!!!!!
Said Sean on the subject, "I saw another side of Lesley today.. a sexier side." OH, I'M SORRY SEAN.... WERE YOU NOT AWARE OF HER SEX DRIVE WHEN SHE MADE YOU BEND OVER IN FRONT OF HER UPON MEETING HER AFTER 8 SECONDS??????????? WAS THAT NOT AGGRESSIVE ENOUGH FOR YOU??????
Later on in the night, Lesley misses her chance to kiss him. I mean, I don't blame her, I get it, sweet southern blonde girl, old fashion ways, la la la, blah blah blah. So she goes back and kisses him, the most timid little-b!tch kiss I've ever seen. I EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU, LES.
Selma Hayek.
I'm just a little annoyed that one night she is presenting at the Golden Globes, making a fool of herself over a teleprompter error #THANKGODPAULRUDDWASTHERE, and the next night she is teaching Sean words in a foreign language.
"You can have the cover.... just not the man," said a feisty Selma Hayek, in regards to the transgender model, after the photoshoot date.
Michelle Obama.
Robyn was having "I'm not white, blonde, or bubbly, I'm feeling left out" syndrome, AND HEY--I GET IT. I'M IN A SORORITY. I'M SURROUNDED BY CUTER BLONDES. I UNDERSTAND, ROBYN. IT'S HARD BEING A STRONG INDEPENDENT BLACK WOMAN IN THIS WORLD, ESPECIALLY TEXAS.
She had the balls to ask white boy if he had a thing for the darker side of the grass. He be like, "AW HAYLE YAH GURL, SHOOT, MY LAST BOO WAS A PIECE A' RASPBERRY CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" she be like, man, boo, I feel guud ryte now, then Kanye and Jay-Z came out and sang their famous paris song, and everyone was happy.
YOU GOTCHA SELF A ROSE, ROB, GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! Sean likes ballsy women.
Every rose has its thorns:
Diana
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| I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL THIS IS |
Brooke
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| "I didn't see this coming," Said Brooke, after saying goodbye to Sean, the longest time she had actually talked to him the entire show. |
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| Chris da Cupid <3 #alwayswatching |
*I started a new job today, and yet it is evident I still don't have a life in that I blogged Twice today, however I blame the free time on not working out today, due to getting sick YOU SHOULD HEAR MY VOICE that's all lalalallalalalalalalalala
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