DONNI CHARM

HEY Y'ALL. 

I am now a campus rep for >>donni charm <<<and I am STOKED about it. What that means is I help spread the word about this amazingly inspiring line of scarves, clothes, and accessories. I will be hosting trunk shows throughout the year, and can offer students a 30% discount off all merchandise.

I REPEAT: 30% DISCOUNT FOR STUDENTS.

 Here is a little diddy I wrote about Donni Charm for The Odyssey, which is the greek newspaper I write for and slash am editor in chief of (oh p.s.s. always wanting more writers and sales execs, especially guys, especially sports writers, okay i'm done now)

:

Donni Charm is a unique line of scarves, jewelry, and clothes, created by Alyssa Wasko, a sophomore Kappa Kappa Gamma while attending the University of Arizona. This line is unique, not only because of the originality of the design, but also the story of how it began.

When Alyssa Wasko was in college, her father suffered a tragic accident that resulted in death. To help herself cope with the devastation, Alyssa channeled her emotions towards making special scarves. She used different fabrics and cutting styles, and adds a delicate “charm” to each garment.

Alyssa's creativity didn't only help her coping process, but has also touched the lives of others who have lost loved ones. Donni Charm scarves are particularly helpful because they are meant to "wrap around you" and hug you, much like the way past loved ones would. Each garment has a signature dangling charm, further reiterating the brand's overall originality. 

The name “Donni Charm” is a combination of her dad’s nickname, Donny, and what Alyssa was to her dad: a charm. What started as a hobby to help her cope with the death, blossomed into an international line of iconic scarves. Celebrities like Beyonce, Sarah Jessica Parker, Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Naomi Watts, Vanessa Hudgens, Lo Bosworth, Whitney Port, Rihanna, Emily Maynard, Kim Kardashian, Isla Fischer, and more. It has been featured in major national publications like Vogue, Us Weekly, People Style Watch, Seventeen, and In Style just to name a few. Donni Charm has even been broadcasted on the news on Fox, Today Show, NBC, CBS, Extra TV, The View, KTLA, and more. This highly respected brand has grown to 500+ boutiques around the world, and gains more traction every day by means of campus representatives.

Donni Charm also donates generously to charities and organizations like Kappa Alpha Theta, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Children’s Brain Tumor Foundation, Rubaga Friends, Race to erase MS, Susan G. Komen for the cure, St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital, Teach for America, Smart Girls, and much much more.

One of the ways Donni Charm has grown so successful is by means of campus representatives. Donni Charm relies on eager college students to help spread the word of the inspirational brand, and even make commission selling them. Campus reps are responsible for hosting multiple trunkshows, managing inventory, and applying strong communication skills to develop social selling expertise.

In fact, I recently received an e-mail through the president of Kappa, informing our chapter that Donni Charm was seeking a representative for Texas Tech. Reading Alyssa’s story through the e-mail definitely moved me. I felt compelled to whip up a cover letter, and submit my resume immediately. I am now lucky enough to be the campus rep for Donni Charm at Tech!

I will be hosting a trunk show at the Kappa house in the near future (date to be determined) and would love for everyone interested to come and try/buy a scarf! The best part? If you order with me, I can hook you up with a sweet 30% off discount—even for online orders! If you are interested in getting a good deal on a truly great designer brand, just e-mail me, or follow me on Twitter (@Sassy_Neal) to stay updated on DC’s latest events at Tech!

My friend Kathryn Ross (@kitykatross) who takes GREAT photos did these for me. 

Fun bright Tech-y/Holiday-ish scarf

"donni gem"

$49.50

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCARVES
 "donni energy"
$69

This was my gift scarf!
"donni karma"
 $99

I'm awkward as hell in this, BUT those little blurry dots are so cool I had to upload it.

I cut my face out of all of these A) because this blog post is about the scarves and not me, B) let's be real, I was having a great hair day and a horrid face day, DON'T YOU HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS????????? 

I have TONS more scarves with me for anyone to touch, feel, look through, try on, but I only wanted to open and wear a few of my favorites for this lil shoot. 

I'm having my first trunk show at the Kappa house November 19th, and maybe one in the Main st. condos before that. To stay updated on trunk shows, slash what I'm doing every 5 minutes, follow me on the TwItTeR: @Sassy_Neal plz 

That one time I pushed a girl at Mekong

HAHA.

I don't know, I'm going to mentally archive this blog as "Something I will regret posting later" but here we go.

So MEKONG 2012. The Frat party of the semester (as cliche as that sounds). I was excited as ever for this event, full of free alcohol, a huge "build," the ying yang twins (where is lil jon??? they don't come as a package deal?????) young joc, and might I reiterate, free alcohol. 

My friends (well the ones that I was able to keep track of up until that point) and I had just taken some fairly ratchet classy Party Time Mike photos and had made our way to a nice cozy little section in front of the stage. Cozy as in shoulder to shoulder with oh, 50 other people trying to be in the front rows. We were all waiting for the unidentifiable black rappers to make their way towards the stage when all of the sudden, I feel a significant shoulder bump. And again. And again.

rude.

Needless to say, I turned around and politely shouted, "OKAY YOU CAN STOP THAT NOW." I forget what shoulder-bumping-girl said to me, but it was less than sweet, I can imagine. What seemed like circa 17 minutes later, her friend in front of me told her to move forward, which would involve me moving backwards for them.... The shoulder-bumping-girl shouted back, quite blatantly, "THIS BITCH IN FRONT OF ME WON'T MOVE." woah, nelly. Name calling? OKAY. OH OH OKAY. But I didn't say anything I just smiled at her as big as I could, like, "DATS RYTE, I AIN'T MOVIN', YO."  But alas, this group of mean girls kept giving me the stink eye and just talking about me right in front of me, ugh, so I just stepped to the left and let the tranny walk in front of me. GAWD I'M SO NICE IT KILLS ME.....or have I spoken too soon????

What seemed like a good 9-14 minutes later, the mosh pit of drunk college students gets a little rowdy as we diligently wait for the rapperz, and I unintentionally bump into said group of mean girls. COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL. It was crowded and everyone was bumping everyone, like a sack of potatoes in the back of a pick up.

Then another gurl chimes in and says "Stop being rude to me and my friends, and stop pushing us, OH AND YOU COULD LOSE 40 POUNDS."

....TO WHICH I REPLIED......

OH 40 POUNDS??? REALLY??? REALLY??? OKAY I COULD SEE 10, MAYYYYBE 20, BUT FORTY????????? OOKKKAAAYYY BETCH. OOOKKKAAAYY. OKAAAAYYY

I was honestly so taken aback, my mouth just dropped to the floor. I stood there for at least 4 seconds before forming a response. Then I looked at the guy behind her, who had that "oh shit, that was a little harsh" look on his face and I said, "OUCH. Girls are so mean!!??? WHY ARE GIRLS SO MEAN?????" I drunkenly questioned the surrounding peers.

So I was about to let it slide. I stood there and let the situation sink in, and then oopsies, vodka sour number 83 of the night kicked in and had another idea. Suddenly I was ENRAGED. FUMING. SEEING RED. FILLED WITH RAGE. not my finest hour.

After vodka sour number 83 kicked in, my inner black diva decided to make a visit. I immediately thought to myself, "OHHH HAAAYYLLLEE NO I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET THIS WHITE GIRL GET AWAY WITH THAT."

Thus..... I looked at her with eyes of fire and said verbatim, "You thought I was pushing you before? I WILL SHOW YOU PUSHING."

THEN with every fiber of my being, I pushed her with the force of ten thousand waterfalls. Being this was a crowded area, I incidentally caused, oh, 6-8 other surrounding people to fall over. AM I SORRY????? NAH.

Then all the boys, Delta Tau Deltas, around said, "Okay you have go to leave, you need to go," and hello. hello. hi. who am i. uh uh. no no no no. AINT GON' HAPPEN.

I literally just stood there, and thought, hmmmm what would jesus do??

And then it occurred to me:

So that's what I did. AND LET ME JUST TELL YOU, NO ONE MESSED WIFF ME FOR THA REST OF DA NIGHT. DADDY WOULD BEEN PROUD i think yikes idk maybe yikes hmmm.

Finally, I just left. I left the mosh pit. I decided shedding soft tearz would be more fun so lololol I enjoyed myself a good solid drunk girl cry and called it a night, more or less.

OH AND GUESS WHAT. I SAW ONE OF THOSE GIRLS TODAY AT BRUNCH AT PANCAKE HOUSE. SHE GAVE ME A DIRTY LOOK. I SMILED AND WAVED LIKE SHE WAS AN OL' FRIEND. LOL #LYFE

IN CONCLUSION....

I am NOT that girl!!! I have NEVER been the girl that gets in fights with other girls and gets involved with drama like that! WHAT WAS THAT??? So embarrassed how that transpired. If I hadn't ingested so much liquids #vodka, I know I wouldn't have let that snide comment get to me. But as I have learned the hard way, time and time again, SH*T GETS EMOTIONAL AFTER THE 87TH VODKA SOUR. Another point I'd like to make is: WHAT KIND OF PERSON TELLS A STRANGER THAT/?????? I am shocked. Girls really are so mean. It is amazing (in a bad way) to me the damage that the tongue can do. I know the Bible quotes it somewhere, in so many words, how the tongue is the most dangerous or deadliest body part. It is so true!!! People need to check theyselves before they wreck theyselves. The whole situation made me realize how important it is to watch what I say to people. Because once you say something, it's out there forever. Whether you meant it or not. People can forgive, but it is hard to forget the sting of painful words, no matter how ridiculous they are. GAWD I HATE GETTING SENTIMENTAL, but in conclusion, watch what you say. Especially to girls/women. All of us are fragile insecure creatures that think we are trolls deep down, SO DON'T ADD FUEL TO THAT FIRE.

As MIA would say, "watch yo' mouf, yo"

I Adore October

Outfit post wwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

This is who I was channeling for this post, my idol, Blair Eadie of Atlantic-Pacific

And as for hair inspiration, I credit Kim of Eat Sleep Wear.

Thanks to the roommate for letting me steal the Cons

Cat eyes: J Roberts in Ruidoso
Fake Alexander McQueen clutch: Le Chic Boutique in Ruidoso

Leather pants: F21
Sweater: Mom's (aka vintage)
Denim top: Papyrus Boutique

Dress: Veronica M from Chrome
Shoes: Target
Top: Arden B

Hard to see, but that ring is made out of a typewriter from the 40s. Pretty nifty. From Culture Clothing.

I love fall. Hello to jackets, pumpkin-flavored everything, scarves, Tech football, riding boots (PS mom, I could really use new ones), chapstick every 8 seconds, and DID I MENTION PUMPKIN PIE FLAVORED EVERYTHING??????????????

spanks to my fave lil photog: @kittykatross

This One's For the Seniors

side note: REMEMBER WHEN THIS USED TO BE A (wannabe) FASHION BLOG????????????????????????????? anyways....

I had a mid-first-last-day-of-school-life-crisis today. It's my senior year. Of college. And by some curse/blessing I am graduating on time. May 2013. UNLESS I CHANGE MY MAJOR RIGHT QUICK!~!~!~!~!~!~! So that means I have to figure out my early-mid twenties life style, preferably before May 2013. I don't know how I feel about that. Living off of my parents  until I meet someone else who can pay for my shoes is ideal. The thought of paying for my own iTunes music, rent, Starbucks drinks, etc., is a mild to moderately terrifying concept for this twenty-something sorority girl to grasp. I start to think about how this is my LAST YEAR OF COLLEGE and I feel a small stab in my stomach. I quickly start to have rapid mental screaming thoughts, something to the effect of:

"HAVE I ATTENDED ENOUGH FREE FOOTBALL GAMES? DO I KNOW HOW TO EVEN CHECK OUT A LIBRARY BOOK?? HAVE I YOLO'D ENOUGH?!?! HAVE I TRIED EVERY SHOT AT MESQUITES??? DID I USE UP ALL THE COUPONS FROM MY BARNES AND NOBLE COUPON BOOKS??? DID I WEAR ALL MY FAVORITE GAME-DAY OUTFITS??? DID I TRY HARD ENOUGH IN SCHOOL???? DID I EVER ATTEND OFFICE HOURS??? DID I GET TRANNY FABULOUS EVERY SPRING BREAK??? DID I SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON BROADWAY AND NOT ENOUGH ON THE DEPOT??? OR CHURCH?? HAVE I PICKED OUT A FAVORITE CHURCH YET???? HAVE I INSTAGRAMMED MEMORIAL CIRCLE YET??? SHOULD I GO TO A TAB EVENT??? SHOUD I START SAVING ISSUES OF THE DT TO SHOW MY GRANDCHILDREN??? SHOULD I ORDER FREE SAMPLES OF THAT HANGOVER CURE PILL THAT KEEPS COMING UP ON MY FACEBOOK ADVERTISEMENTS????????????????

*head explodes*

Anyone else having a panic attack about this being the LAST YEAR. THE FINAL SUPPER. This is just as traumatic for me as the last Harry Potter movie coming out. 

I remember being a senior in high school. 

There I am. Graduation day. So excited for life ahead of me.

Graduating high school was fun. Being a senior in high school was sober fun of busy body activities that at the time you think are important. You've got your cap and gown, and you are PUMPED AS HAYLE to live on your own, not have a curfew, and have easy access to sugary fatty food and drank round the clizzock. 

Graduating senior year of college is anxiety, panic, death, anarchy, corruption, fire, bombs, disease, pain, charley horses, night sweats, and strife. To sum it up briefly. GOOD FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING THE DAY AFTER YOU GRADUATE, I AM SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU. 

CONFREAKINGRATS. 

In fact just the other day, I was talking to an incoming freshmen (#rush) and once she found out I was a senior, she quickly asked my post-grad plans. 

"Ohhh, I don't know yet."

"Oh. I'm sorry." 

She said she was sorry. She apologized. UM YOU'RE FORGIVEN I GUESS? SORRY FOR WHAT MIGHT I ASK?? I AM FABULOUS????????????? YOUNG BROKE AND EFFING FABULOUS?????????????????????????????????? whtvr. 

I'm reminded of a scene in one of my favorite movies, The Holiday.

The scene in the very beginning when Cam Diaz is having an episode.

"I'm fine. I'm just freaking out a little bit."

That's about how I feel about the situation. I really am fine. I'M JUST FREAKING OUT A LITTLE BIT.

Might I point out this is a two-sided panic attack. On one side, I have until May to check off the items from my "senior year bucket list." You know, yolo shenanigans, and really making sure I have a lot of regrets and make a lot of young-person mistakes before I have to live on my own and be responsible. On the other side, while I'm making these young-person life mistakes, I have to take time to figure out exactly what I want to do afterwards. After graduation. The after life. This side is probably more important than checking off my senior bucket list. 

So what do I want to do when I grow up. Let's see.. major: advertising. Minor: spanish. This white girl has her iPhone set to espanol, and I'd like to test the waters and see how far that gets me in life. I like to write. I like magazines. AM I SOLID ENOUGH TO WRITE FOR A MAGAZINE??? SHOULD I TAK THE GSP TEST AGAIN???? *panic attack* I also like social media and marketing. And words. And copy writing. I've dabbed my toe in the arts of photoshop, and made an A in layout and design, BUT AM BY NO MEANS A GRAPHIC DESIGNER, NOR AM I AD AGENCY MATERIAL IN THAT SENSE *hyperventilates* I like to blog, and in this day and age you actually CAN make a living off blogging. I also like clothes and fashion, and I've been known to throw a mean outfit together for a customer in need, BUT LIKE I'D LIKE TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO EAT EVERY NOW AND THEN *seizures* 

Today, the first day of my senior year. Something semi funny-horrific happened. I was sitting at the end of an isle seat, at the top of the class, next to a descending carpet staircase. Well, I didn't realize just how close I was to the stair case, and I backed up my rolling chair right into the downward staircase, and suffered a mild crash-chair-body-floor situation right after the professor said "Class is dismissed early today" soooooooooooOoOoOo Hope everyone feels better about themselves right about now. Fell into a staircase while my body was in a chair, it's fine. 

Commercials as of Late

Hi, I'm an advertising major, I like advertisements. I'm one of those. Here are some of my under-grad, I-don't-know-what-I'm-talking-about, yet-still-freaking-important, opinions.

1. This one I have actually never seen on TV, but I saw it on Facebook. It tugs my lil <3 strings.

Running ads tend to be my favorites. One of my favorite quotes is from a Nike print ad.

The image is just a typical running ad picture, but the quote is PHENOM.  

Did the copywriters write this? Did they get it from a philosopher? You go Nike writers. There was actually a phase in my life that the quote was on a post it on my bathroom mirror. "Make yourself" takes on 2 meanings here, and I just think it's genius, possibly copywriters are totally underrated and don't get enough credit, but whatever, I just like wordz.

2. Here we have a commercial reaching out to all the minorities. Easy, breezy, beautiful, cOvErGuRl

Ellen absolutely MAKES this commercial. "No one understands you." LOL. I'm a heterosexual white girl, and it even makes me want to wear Covergirl. Or at least watch the commercial. I actually don't use Covergirl make up. anywho....


3.  Okay this is where you lose me....

Ughhh to Sensa and uuugghhh to this commercial. Who's idea was it to use the "shake shake shake" song?? You are SoOOoOOoOOoo original..............................................

ALSO. What the ef is in that Sensa powder?? What is the deal??? Sprinkling dirt will also make you lose your appetite AND DIRT IS FREE PEOPLE.


4. I. LOVE. THIS. COMMERCIAL. 

I literally started buying Oiko's yogurt after seeing this. Not because I think it's hilarious, but because "it is possibly the best tasting greek yogurt in the world" or at least in the apparent taste test. Sorry Chobani. I just love how the people in this  are so normal looking. This is what normal, non-celebs, non-models, look like. And the part when the blonde screams, "COME BACK!" is priceless. The 15 second version is not as good.


That's all I got. Other than The Campaign trailers are literally making me convulse in teary-eyed laughter.

Augusta goes on a date

Hi. 
This is going to be one of those blog posts that I will eventually regret and delete, hopefully before someone considers hiring me for a well-paid career, because THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT FASHION OR ADVERTISING OR SPANISH IT'S ABOUT A HORRIFIC DATE I WENT ON, PARENTAL ADVISORY SUGGESTED jk.

Saturday, July 28th, 2 AM
Eating at Whataburger with two friends after a ordinary night of bar-hopping.
Eating with one friend inside while the other friend is outside.
Inside friend leaves momentarily to get outside friend.
Augusta sits alone eating.
Person walks up to Augusta
Numbers exchanged.
Friends come back inside.
Friends leave Whataburger.

Sunday, July 29th, 12 PM
Receives text from said person.
Plans to go to Sheridan's at 8 with said person.

And now our story can begin...

FIRST OF ALL, if you are going to offer to take someone on a date, DO NOT OFFER TO SHARE WITH THEM. LET THEM BUY WHAT THEY WANT. NO ONE WANTS TO SHARE ICE CREAM, EVEN IF IT'S SOMEONE THEY DO KNOW. ugh... So we shared this like brownie concrete thing and I literally ate 2 bites, two OF THE FIRST bites. ugh. ugh. ugh.

During our eating of the ice cream, we have just some normal "light first date chat," you know, like how he grew weed in California with his dad for two years, attended school in Arizona, but also spent time in Japan somewhere in there, how his mom is a lesbian, has 820 half-siblings, used to be mormon but quit , so now his religion is basically yoga, which he does for hours a day, LITERALLY HOURS A DAY, 
OH and here comes my favorite part, HE DOES THEM ON PSYCHEDELIC (his word) DRUGS!!!!!! LOLZ!!! LIKE SHROOMS AND ACID AND WORDS I HAVE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF!! 

Hmmm. Okay.
Did I mention he is from Albuquerque, New Mexico? Which I find sad, because, I myself, am a New Mexican, and he is just.................. so not enchanting.

So we leave Sheridan's and go walk around campus because he just transferred to Tech and wants to see the campus blah blah. We start talking about music. He looks like the type who would be into Coldplay or Bon Iver, but no no no no no no no. He starts going into full-on detail regarding his passion for Beyonce.

Beyonce. Beyonce. *how to scare girls away* As if the yoga thing wasn't gay enough, this guy tells me he is obsessed with the "R&B vibes" of effing Beyonce. I like Beyonce, I really do, but IF YOU'RE A BOY, DON'T DROP THE BEYONCE BOMB ON THE FIRST DATE. SAVE THAT UNTIL 4 YEARS AFTER MARRIAGE AT LEAST OR SOMETHING. JUST LIE.
DON'T BE YOURSELF, AT ALL COSTS. 

Somewhere along in the conversation, he finds it necessary to ask me how much I pay for rent. Um, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AHEAD AND ASK ME HOW MUCH I WEIGH??? LET'S JUST GET ALL THE INAPPROPRIATE QUESTIONS OUT THERE. So I just answer honestly.
 He then says, "You kind of seem like a rich daddy's girl." 

To which I said:

REALLY???? DO I??? WELL LO FREAKING SIENTO FOR HAVING EXCEPTIONAL TASTE IN HANDBAGS???????? Gawd. I gave him the death stare, he apologized but like.................... ugh. Gawd.

So we are walking along and he says, "Wow look at that tree!!!" Like, yoga boy is EXTREMELY fascinated by this tree. This stupid freaking tree. I looked at him weird and thought, are you on acid right now???? But just went along with it and followed him to this freaking tree. He then starts to climb this tree. I was like..... Can you not climb a tree right now? He replies that he is total hippie, and just loves nature and earth. 
He tells me to climb the tree. I said, you clearly don't know me, but no, I'm not climbing a tree.

-2 minutes later-

So I'm in the damn tree. With my new Target sandals, and my fabulous handbag from Spain, and I'm like freaking Tarzan jungle boy in this freaking tree on freaking campus. Ugh. *so not ideal*. We end up getting out of the tree, NOT BEFORE I SCRAPE MY DELICATE PORCELAIN SKIN THOUGH, and decide to leave campus and go back to his apartment so he can show me his drawings (he's an art major, which truly explains a lot) and listen to Beyonce's new CD. Yay. Terrific. Yay.

We get to his apartment, it's ugly, lah tee dah, I'm like where are your drawings, I'm tired. I'm tard. He then pulls out papers with faces on it. He tells me it's his face. He draws his face. So when this guy isn't doing yoga for hours, or climbing trees, or smoking shrooms, or WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO WITH SHROOMS, he looks in the mirror, makes weird faces, and draws them with colored pencils. 

I proceed to start snooping around his room. I found a Harry Potter book (marginally redeems himself) in Dutch. It's in Dutch. Apparently he speaks Dutch. Which probably would have been cool if it had been ANYONE ELSE, but this guy was already so weird, that a Dutch Harry Potter book just didn't help his situation. I had fun reading the Dutch Harry Potter book out loud, trying to drown out "Who run the world (girls)" by Beyonce. I HATE THAT SONG. It wasn't until he tried to teach me to enunciate the dutch words correctly that I politely said STFU and slammed the book shut.

So. What now.

Unspecified amount of time later
"Ummm is my chin bleeding?? Like, ouch." -me
"No." 
"Are you sure....."
"Yes."

Before you completely judge me, this guy his an exceptional kisser, and is actually attractive, minus his weird personality/hobbies/everything else. ALL WE DID IS KISS, ALSO. The thing is, he had what you would call "stubble" and even though he claims he shaved that day, it was growing back. Is mild to moderate "stubble" literally MASSACRED my dainty sensitive angel skin.

Let's review the damage, shall we.

HOME REMEDIES FOR MICRODERMABRASION 

That red dot? THAT IS BLOOD. SANDPAPERED AND READY FOR PAINTING.

IT HURT TO SMILE FOR THREE DAYS. 

The picture I mass texted to half of my phone book the next day.

If by "hard to get" you mean "Trying to run away from you as fast and far as possible"
then YES. YES I AM PLAYING HARD TO FREAKING GET.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE CRACKING UP???????
I AM CRACKING UP.
MY CHIN IS CRACKING UP.
MY CHIN, YOU ASS HOLE. MY CHIN.

GYYAAWWWDDDDDDDDDDD. While some might stay on house arrest with a face like mine, I stuck to my guns and pursued my summer internship, AND ACTUALLY MADE A SALE THIS WEEK WITH A FACE LIKE THIS. Said client probably saw my face and thought "She has cancer, she needs the money."

Chin update
It is almost back to normal, it is just extremely peely and dry looking. NOT ONE SINGLE BLACKHEAD, HOWEVER. Probably because 9 layers of skin were lemon zested off.

To my relatives who had to read this, I apologize. Lol. Lawls.
And no, I am not talking to this guy anymore. Obviously. EVER SO OBVIOUSLY.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

DO NOT GIVE YOUR NUMBER OUT TO FELLOW EATERS AT WHATABURGER,

EVEN IF IT IS THE NICE WHATABURGER ON UNIVERSITY STREET

Just some random crap I want to learn to cook.

New goal: learn to cook something other than microwaveable soup and PB&J's. I sought out some recipes I want to master. All from the foodnetwork.com, because HAYLE if I'm going to cook something that's not by a famous TV star.

1. A fish dish.

 Enter salmon. This is a Giada De Laurentils recipe, and she says it is at an "intermediate" level. Challenge accepted, G-Laur. It's called "Salmon in Lemon Brodetto with Pea Puree"... what is brodetto????? I have no idea.  Here is the recipe. Click. 

2. A steak dish.

The steak dish I have in mind actually isn't the picture above because FOR SOME REASON BOBBY FLAY DOESN'T FEEL IT NECESSARY TO INCLUDE PICTURES OF ALL OF HIS RECIPES, A LITTLE SHADY IF YOU ASK ME.

Anyways, I'm going to tackle an intermediate level "Grilled Steak w/ Caramelized Onions, Blue Cheese, Wild Mushroom Relish, and Roasted Red Pepper Sauce," which frankly, I was sold at "caramelized onions." I'm going to change out blue cheese for goat cheese, however. Blue cheese is rank. click. 

3. A chicken dish. 

This is called "Lemon-Herb butter-basted Chicken" by Sandra Lee. It is on the "easy" level, but since it is Sandra Lee, it is actually SUPER SWEET SIMPLE SAUCY AND ALWAYS SEMI-HOMEMADE AND SUPER SIMPLE. click. 

4. A lasagna dish. 

This is called "The Lady and Sons Lasagna Recipe" and I'm not sure why it's called that. It's by Paula Deen, PRE-WEIGHT LOSS, so I'm sure it's chock full of butter balls and fried Twinkies. I mean, just look at that. That top layer MAY LOOK like cheese, but it is probably just melted sticks of butter. This is supposed to be easy.  click here. 

5. An enchilada dish. 

Yum. Look at that cilantro. Yum. This chicken enchilada dish is by Rachel Ray. Which means it will only take me 30 minutes or less!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!


And to the friends reading this that will benefit from my new cooking goals, you know who you are, and YOU GET TO BRING THE WINE AND SIDE DISHES.

***peace & blessins***