Following People I Don't Actually Know--Diary of a Creeper

Here is where I go into detail on people I follow on Instagram and Twitter that I don't actually know. Non-celebrities. This is normal. (?)


Just another twenty something college student. EXCEPT SHE DEVOTES HER LIFE AND EVERY WAKING SECOND TO EATING HEALTHY AND WORKING OUT. Above and beyond. She posts pictures of everything she eats and hashtags the main ingredients. She eats things I've never even heard of and probably can't even pronounce. Like "casein" or "nooch" and "deluxe buckinis" LIKE WHAT ARE YOU EATING??? It's bizarre because it's all so insanely healthy but looks SO delicious.  She has to spend like $150 on groceries every week. I'm jealouzzzz.

She inspires me to eat raw kale or seaweed or something.


I don't even know how I started following this girl. BUT I mean I know her life story. My friends give me so much sh*t for following her. When I started following her she was a senior in high school dating this boy "tHe LOvE oF HeR LiFeEeEe" and they broke up and she went through the whole break up super publically posting sappy quotes and "still thinking of you" captions AND IT WAS ENTERTAINING AS HELL then sh*t when downhill when she got to college and started working at Hooters and went into need-attention-must-post-selfies-constantly mode. She has a cat named Kashmir.

I KNOW ABSOLUTLEY WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT SHEWOLFF. Her major is theatre and she gets really hot and bothered when people tell her that's a stupid major. Maybs she'll be famous AND THEN I'LL BE LIKE OMG I FOLLOWED HER ON INSTA I CALLED IT.

OMG I almost forgot and so she has a YouTube channel and sings on it and she is a bad singer but thinks she's good, she's one of those, and it's like watching the beginning of an American Idol season OK OK I SWEAR THAT'S ALL I KNOW. SO ABOUT EVERYTHING BUT HER SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.



It's funny because this account started out as "Boyfriend Problems," during which time I also had a boyfriend. Then she turned into "Single Problems" and I followed suit soon after. SO IN EFFECT I feel like we are best friends forevz and have been through a lot together.

I can't handle how she uses Yahoo and sometimes her tweets are actually pretty stupid, but I've already made it this far with her and... unfollowing her now at this point would make me feel like I was going through a break up #singleprob


I don't know who this girl is BUT I KIND OF NEED HER TO GET A REALITY SHOW OR WRITE SNL SCENES OR SOMETHING. She is hyterical. She is like a real life Babe Walker (main character in White Girl Problem) or a sassier version of Carrie Bradshaw.


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