5.14.2013

Just be pale.


There is nothing wrong with being tan.
Unless you're naturally pale. I think people (girls) are under the impression that if you are tan, you are cool and beautiful. 

What they aren't aware of, is if that you are tan you look like this: 
the "i'm going through a phase" shade
the "everything you touch turns orange" shade
reminds me of desert
50 shades of skin cancer
apricot face
carrot human
after you scrape off the burnt part of toast

Girls should just be pale. 
Or whatever color their skin is without having to pay someone to lay in a machine that ages you and gives you premature wrinkles. Nothing says "I AM TRYING SO HARD TO IMPRESS EVERYONE" quite like a tanning bed. 

Take a lesson from The Few, The Proud...... the marines er pale bitches. 
Nasty Gal lookbook 2013--A PALE MERMAID FROLICKING IN THE OCEAN. YES. ON POINT.
HER LEG ISN'T EVEN IN THE PIC AND IT'S STUNNING
LIKE THE FEMALE VERSION OF THE AMERICAN FLAG. 
MIGHT AS WELL BE A GUCCI SPF 90 AD
ONCE REGINA GEORGE WORE ARMY PANTS AND FLIP FLOPS AND WAS PALE SO I WORE ARMY PANTS AND FLIP FLOPS AND WAS PALE.
SOME PALE BAD ASS IN A HAT
Be kind to yourself this summer. Wear sunscreen. Every day. Wear a hat. Your 50 year old nearly-wrinkle-free self will thank you.

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